As You Are

I Love Her.

*Death

Lila had chemo at the hospital today. I knew, so when she fell asleep the night before, I made my way to the hospital to do my job, as I do every time I know she has treatment. Any other time, I stay with her.

It wasn't always like this. At first, it was just my job to pop in on her every now and again. She was merely another job. Then, as time progressed and I watched her grow, I found myself coming to see her more and more. Not only that, but I found myself growing fond of her, especially when she was still happy, which was before she knew she had leukemia. The more I saw her, the less I wanted to leave her, and so things became as they are now.

I always watch her. I never leave her side to do my job except or when she has chemo and I know I'm not far from her. I feel a legitimate ache when I stay away from her for too long, as if I'm feinding for some sort of drug mortals use.

I still remember the first time I saw her. She was only eleven years old, and even then she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in all of my eternity.

Her big eyes were a vibrant green with specks of blue that sparkled like the laughing sea. Her pale skin was perfect as that of a porcelain doll's. Her long, dark lashes accentuated her eyes wonderfully. Her lips were of perfect shape and a lovely shade of pink. Her cheeks were rosy as could be. She had long, gorgeous hair so blonde it appeared white. Even then, I was certain she was the most beautiful creature to have graced the earth, and I wondered just how I could ever take her from its face knowing that when I do, the world will never be so bright again as when she wandered its surface.

While I did, and still do, want to be selfish and take her for myself, I've resolved that I will not do so until she begs for me to take her, and is sure that's what she wants. I just wish there was some was a way for me to be closer to her, to actually experience her presence just as everyone else does until that time comes.