The Gift

Chapter Thirteen

 “I love him?” I repeated slowly.  “I do, don’t I?”

Yes.  You can try to deny it all you like, but it doesn’t change that it is the truth and you cannot lie, even to yourself.

“I love you, Daniel,” I whispered, if only to test the validity of the statement.  When the words came out smoothly, I retreated from him.  I pulled back a couple feet and sat in the dirt with my knees drawn up to my chest, rested my forehead on my knees, and cried.  I cried out of guilt for him getting hurt because of me, out of relief that he would be alright, but most of all, I cried out of fear.  People who were close to me, who I cared about, were always in the most danger.

“Freyla?” I heard Daniel stirring.  I felt his hand on my shoulder.  “Freyla, are you alright?”  I felt his arms come around me and I let myself cling to him this one time and cry.  He held me while I cried.  I felt him stroke my hair and run a hand up and down my back in a soothing manner.

“You’re the one who got hurt and you’re comforting me,” I said when my tears were all run out.

“Are you alright?” he pulled me back to look at me.  I just nodded, barely trusting my voice.  “Let’s go back to the inn, then.”  He stood up, pulling me to my feet as well.  We walked in silence back to the inn.

I went straight to my room, locking the door behind me before he could follow me in.  I didn’t want to talk to him.  I needed to think.  Sinking to the floor, with my back against the door, I buried my face in my hands with the heels of my hands pressed against my eyes to shut out the world. 

Daniel knocked on the door and asked me to let him in.  When I didn’t he ordered me to and threatened to have Brandon break it down when he returned soon or to go outside and climb in through my window.  I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to him yet.  It didn’t take long for me to come to a decision once I was in my room and I knew he wouldn’t like it.  I was terrified that, if I spoke to him, my resolve would shatter and I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

When Brandon returned later, I could hear his voice rising in anger as he and Daniel talked in their room.  A minute later, he banged on my door with threats to break the door down if I didn’t open it, but I didn’t move from the window, where I’d curled into a ball against the cool glass.  Threats turned to pleading to orders and then right back to threats.  He must have been at my door for half an hour before he gave up.  I never once moved from my spot.  I remained sitting in the window, tears welling in my eyes and spilling slowly down my cheeks.

I slept there in the window that night, taking my blanket from the bed and wrapping it around me as I sat curled up on the window seat.

I didn’t move when I awoke in the morning but sat until the sun had been in the sky for a while.  I heard Brandon and Daniel wake up and move around their room grumbling.  After I’d heard them moving around for a while, I went over and knocked on their door.

“Daniel, we need to talk,” I said when he opened his door.