A Million Angles

His words bite me...

I creep into Jakes room. He's fast asleep with his mouth wide open like a fish. He's cuddling a toy tank, and he hasn't even realized all the thunder that's raging outside. I creep downstairs to spy on my mum and dad through the crack of the door in the living room. My heart is a tennis ball in my chest, pounding on concrete. My neck is sticky with sweat from the storm. They're snuggled up together on the sofa watching the late night news. Mum sobs and wings a damp hanky in her hands. He sighs and strokes her hair, twisting the threads of gold. "The worst year for killings since the wsr in Afghanistan began." The newsreader is saying. My tummy twists like mums wet hanky. Tying up in knots. I quickly creep back upstairs back into my room. Later that night dad came into my room. He rests his hand onto my back. He rubs soft warm circles, round and round, like did when I was little. I turn around to him and hug him tight. "Please don't go dad" I squeak "please?" "I have to,sweetie" he says, nuzzling tickle whiskers in my neck. He plants a kiss on my cheek. "Promise me you'll take good care of yourself? And be kind to Jake and really good to mum? I need you to be a good girl and look after your family ok?" Dad said, cuddling me tight. I nod even though I don't want to. "Good girl, I'm leaving early in the morning so I won't wake you again." When he leaves my room, I touch his kiss and wish it would grow into a flower.

At five the next morning, my dad creeps into my room. I lie still and hold my breath. He pulls my blanket up to my chin, and strokes my hair. He gives me one last clean kiss and creeps away. My tummy sinks. It sinks right through the bed and the floor. "Please don't go" I whisper. I hear him in the other rooms. Now he's going down the stairs and into the hall. I hear he's putting on he's sparkling black boots, shuffling his kit about and loading it on to his back. I hear someone hug him. The front door clicks open and shuts slowly, I freeze. I jump out of bed and race like lightning down the stairs. I open the door out into the storm. A solider with a silver car salutes my dad. A river if rain runs down his sleeve.
"Dad!" I call.
My dad spins round. "Jenny! Sweetie! You're getting soaked!"
"I don't car," I say, paddling up to him. "Dad, please don't go. Please don't leave me, Afghanistan is too far away. I just need you too be near me."
"Oh darling." He sighs. "As much as I'd love to stay, I can't."
"But dad" I whisper "what if something bad happens to you?"
"Jenny, this is why I didn't wake you, it's just easier if I just slip away." Dad scoops me into his arms as if I were a tiny toddler. He squeezes me so tight I think my lungs might burst out of my chest.
"Love you pipsqqueak!" Dad says. He kisses my cheek again. He stands me down, we salute each other. And the solider drives my dad away.
I can't let him go. I can't. I run after the car. I shout "Dad quick stop!" He moves further and further and further away. "DAD!" I scream as loud as a can.
At last, the red brake lights go on and the soldier reverses the car until it's level with my feet. "What is it Jenny?" He asks. "Please don't go daddy please don't I can't live a day without you!" I cry.
"Trust Jen, trust me I'll be back before you know it!" He says blowing me a kiss "ok I trust you." I say.
The soldier drives off. And I fall to the ground in tears. Mum sees me through the window out there in the rain crying. She runs outside and picks me up. "It's ok darling, together we will be fine, he will be fine." She says hugging me with all her might. "How about we go inside and have a cuppa?" She asks smiling. "I would love to!" I say. She stands me back onto the ground and we walk inside...

TO BE CONTINUED...