Forgive Me // Reece Bibby

Forgive Me - {5}

                       ||five//daddy||  

*a couple hours later so around 5 pm*

"Oh damn it!" i muttered under my breath.

"whats happened? Are you okay?" Reece questioned looking up from his phone as we all crammed into the living room. 

"Yea, its nothing big just got Isaacs doctors appointment tomorrow at 2." i replied smiling. He smiled back before looking back at his phone. 

"Guys come on! We need to have fun in this city while you're here! Obviously we cant tonight but do u want either a pizza or chinese or macdonalds takeout? I can put Isaac to bed and then we can watch fims and that; you up for it?" i questioned bouncing Isaac on my leg.

" Yep that sounds fun! Pizza definitely!" they basically all replied apart from George.

" George, can i speak to u outside for a mintute?" i said quietly but apparently loud enough for everyone to hear, as i gave Isaac to Blake and pulled George out to my small back garden. 

"Whats up?" i questioned lovingly lifting his head so his eyes were inline with mine. Seeing tears brim over his blonde eyelashes, i whipped away the salty drops falling from his hazel eye; pulling him into my body for a warm embrace from one of the only friendly faces left in this broken world. 

"Alannah, seeing Isaac makes me sad, awfully sad. i was once in your position but my baby died and i miss him not her him. She was evil taking everything i had left to give me dignity and replacing it with nothing but regret. I'm not leaving though i think it'll be good to  get ver it and  want to spend time with you." He sniffled into my ear, pulling away from the hug.

"Thats awful, i was in your position too! I was totally used but it makes you wiser george and ill aways be here to help you through it. Isaac will always need a male role model in his life and your such a good one; im glad your not leaving.Now lets go have fun!" i exclaimed dragging him inside picking up the pizza menu and the phone before planting myself on the sofa next too blake. They boys told me their orders and the pizza was meant to be there in 30 mins so it was a perfect time to make it a real slumber party and put isaac to bed. I showed the boys where to get changed and went to put isaac down. i fed him a bottle and changed him into a different onesie ad new nappy. I knew id have to sing him to sleep so i placed him in his cot and grabbed my guitar. Sitting on the rocking chair i started to play the chords to Sad Song - we are the kings before quietly singing the truth full lyrics so the lads couldn't hear. 

You and I,

We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide.

So stop time right here in the moonlight,
Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes.

Without you, I feel broke.
Like I'm half of a whole.
Without you, I've got no hand to hold.
Without you, I feel torn.
Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I'm just a sad song.I'm just a sad song.

Putting my guitar back, i walked over quietly to my baby boy and kissed the top of his head before turning round to see Reece quietly applauding me with a smirk on his face. Just laughing, i walked straight past him and into my bedroom closing the door to get changed. I put on some shorts and a plain black sweater. Getting chnaged i heard to door go so i ran downstairs and payed the pizza guy not knowing the boys were downstairs, oh no! All my scars and cuts are showing,i looked at their faces which were full of disgust or what it looked like to me and i ran upstairs bursting out in tears,i locked my self in the bath room and opened up my last pack of cigarettes before liting on and inhaling to worry freeing substances. Hearing them run upstairs didnt scare me but the fact i was an awful mother did, and now id been discovered, i was a wreck and sadly a hopeless one. 

"Open the door now Al!" Blake screamed banging on the door. i heard isaacs worried screams and reece whispering ill get him. His strenght was growing and with ever puff i took he go closer to knocking in my bathroom door. With salty tears streaming down my pale cheeks as i sat in the bath and dug out my razor blade before striking at my wrist; i was an artist but sadly my paper was my wrists and my pencil was my blade. Luckily it took the pain away though. 

         Suddenly the door burst open andBlake ran in with water in his eyes as he saw me crying in the bath tub, what had i done.