Hey guys it's been a few and man these past few days has been a roller coaster of emotions and I'm not sure how much more I can take. Yeah one minute I'm happy then the next I'm sad then wanting to punch the shit out of something. Yeah but the one thing that hasn't changed is the only thing that has been on my mind. Yes I know I know. I need to get over him but for some reason I can't I just don't know what's wrong with me. It doesn't help that I have been re-reading the paragraph he sent me. Yeah I'll show you. I saved it on my notes
Here
"Idk if I pissed you off or what but Elizabeth I hope you know how much I love you, you may feel like you have to block yourself off from the world but I love you, I trust u more than anybody else I would tell u anything and that's cause of how much I truly do love you and how much u mean to me I don't want u to feel like u can't tell me anything cause u can, u can tell me any and everything I'll always b there to talk to even in the toughest times I'll never judge you for who you are or what you've done cause then I'd just b a hippocrit cause I've done some fucked up shit and some stuff I'm not proud of, I never want to lose you Elizabeth you mean the world to me, if u seriously want to know how much u impacted my life just ask Logan he can tell just by looking at me that with you I'm a completely different person I'm better, you inspire me Elizabeth Bc of everything you go through and have go through the fact that u haven't taken that last cut inspires me, but not just that you push me to go further without realizing it I never ever do hw at home and if I didn't do that crap today Bc of you I'd b failing math and science cause that was a major grade in math and 2 grades in science, I never want you to think that there's no one and to turn to cutting and drinking cause there's is someone there's me Matthew Emillie Emily Logan we all love u very much( especially me) I'm gonna sound like the biggest pussy ever but I'm crying rn babe your scaring me so bad idk what happened that your house today but I hope that your mother and brother are both okay and that you are to even if u say u aren't, and since you aren't I hope that you'll find the strength to talk to someone about to and not just keep it balled up inside cause doing that is unsafe and could cause so many more problems Ik you said that your done talking and that's fine but plz just read this you don't have to respond I just need you o read it and for u to know that I'm scared for U just ask Emilie, every time we kiss, well I can't say it any better than you, all my problems just melt away it's like a feeling of nirvana I never want to let go of your hand or never let my lips leave your but they have to at some point, but that just makes the next kiss all the more exciting to feel that familiar touch of your lips again, I'm done rambling on, u should know by now but I love you so so much there's no way for me to describe it with words babe I'm here for you I always will b don't b afraid to open up to me I wasn't to u and sleep well plz get some sleep even if it's just a few hours I'm going to take a shower then go to sleep I love you ...😶😕❤️"
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the picture that we took that night.
Yeah I guess it doesn't help. I guess I need help or something like that. I just don't know anymore. It feels like the end of the world but I know it's not it just feels like it. I really do need help but I hate pity from anyone I just do. I don't I'll figure something out. I'm tired so I'm going to sleep sorry. Goodnight lads
