4. Talk To Me

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***Julian POV***

It didn't take too long to get to Taylar's house. Mrs. Tilly was right. You can't miss it. The huge log house sat on a property that just seemed to go on and on. I recognized Taylar's Jeep and parked next to it. A few people were working away either with horses or construction projects. I walked up to the house and the door was wide open. Country Folks.

I stepped in and immediately heard a piano. I followed the sound to a set of double doors. I eased one open and saw Taylar sitting in the middle of the floor.

"I can't do this," she groaned as she lay on her back.

A girl with a curly airfro walked over to her and sat down as she asked, "Sis, what are you really afraid of? I've heard you sing a million times with and without people around. I know it's not stage fright. What is it? Are you scared of all those racist idiots?"

Taylar rolled her eyes and they settled on me. I stepped in as I said, "Your front door is open. I came to work with you."

She groaned as she said, "Riley please excuse us. And take Lily."

The girl with curls stood. So she was Riley. She walked over to a baby crawling around and picked her up. So that's Lily.

I waited for them to leave before walking over and sitting with Taylar.

"Talk to me," I said after an awkward silence.

She looked away as she said, "Its not your business."

She stood and walked over to the piano. She played a couple cords and I went and sat on the bench with her. She looked to me and I smiled.

"What you really can't sing," I teased.

"I can sing anything you ask me tooo," she sang suddenly.

Her voice was beautiful. I smiled and she smirked as she looked away.

"I just can't open myself up like that anymore," she said softly. Almost a whisper.

I turned her to face me using my index finger under her chin. She looked me over and bowed her head.

"Tell me what made you shut off your emotions," I pleaded. "Please tell me."

She looked up with glassy eyes. She quickly blinked away her tears before replying, "Lily is my daughter."

I nodded unsure where she was finna head with this. She looked straight into my eyes and began to spill the answer to my plea.

"A couple years ago I started seeing a white guy. His name was Dustin. We were in love. But in this town that's frowned upon. I mean my adoptive daddy is white. But people here are too afraid of him to try my mother or his blood children."

She took a shaky breath before continuing, "But my mother came here with me. Anyway. Me and Dustin were dating and the people didn't like it. So one night we were walking a dark road from town to his house. Suddenly headlights were on us and we were surrounded. I was grabbed and Dustin started fighting to get to me."

Tears started pouring from her eyes. She looked to the wall as she said, "They hit him at first. But he kept getting up trying to reach me. Next thing I know I'm pinned down and my clothes are just being ripped in every which direction. I hear myself screaming for Dustin. But everyone's laughing and grabbing at me. Then I feel them pulling my legs apart and I'm crying. Before I know it there's a small puddle of mud under my head from all my tears. Then one of them enters me."

She was shaking and so was I. My anger was rising more and more by the second as she continues, "I was a virgin before this point. Dustin and I were headed to have our first time. Lose the card to each other. But as they took turns on me I turn my head and see Dustin on the ground. He's crying and struggling against a man that has him pinned down like a cop subduing a perp. He cries my name and I open my mouth but all that comes out are sobs and screams. Suddenly the thrusting between my legs is over. I know at least four had their way with me. But it wasn't over."

She looks into my eyes and says, "They shot Dustin in the back. Right in front of me. I don't know if I screamed out loud or in my head but the thrusting began again. Then I blacked out. I woke up a month later with stitches, fractured wrists and pregnant. Lily is the result of that night."

She got quiet and stared at me with tears streaming down. I embraced her and she whispered, "I kept her because instead of the bad she reminds me of everything that went perfect between Dustin and I up until that point. But after losing Dustin I didn't see any use for emotions. I mean emotions, fear mainly, rendered me helpless that night. Emotions are useless. At least for me."

***Taylar's POV***

I had just poured the tale of that horrific night to a near stranger. I sat waiting for him to judge me now. For having Lily and being tarnished and scarred. I waited as I looked into his rage-filled eyes. They slowly began to soften.

He kissed my forehead as he said, "Your emotions make you human. They make you a daughter, a mother, a talented singer. They make you the girl I can feel myself craving to have around. If you can't open up to everyone then open up to me and your family. Please? I promise we won't exploit your choice."

I don't know what was happening to me but I gently grabbed his face and pressed my lips to his. He was shocked at first. But then he relaxed and pulled me closer to him. I felt the heat of our bodies rising as he pulled me onto his lap. Then just as suddenly he pulled away. I looked at him confused and to my delight he smiled.

"I would love to continue," he said breathing heavily. "But I don't want to rush things. So just meet me in the auditorium after school. Okay?"

I nodded and stood from his lap. He smirked down to me and kissed my lips once more before reatreating out the door.

Lord, what am I doing?...



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