Where Is My Mind (Larry/Ziam AU)

14.

CHAPTER 14

 

It is Thursday when Louis decides he wants to see Harry again. He can’t deny that he didn’t like the way he felt around the boy, and there was something a little more relaxed, and little more comfortable with Harry than anyone else. He liked the way they seemed to just go - there was no awkwardness that made Louis feel like he wanted to run away from the whole situation; if anything, he wanted to get closer and to help.

When Louis finished his last class on Friday, he dumps his things in his room, then leaves again almost immediately.

Through a few train rides and a bus or two, Louis sits by the window with his earphones playing music straight into his mind, so he can block out the rest of the world. Louis’ eyes stay focused on the window, but nothing outside because he is always moving and nothing is standing still.

It takes him awhile to realise, but that is really all life is. You sit still, and the world moves around you until you get up and you move with it; or against it. Louis’ schooling and his friendship with Zayn, he let it all go by in a blur without fighting what was wrong and without going with what flowed. He didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing, so he had just accepted that things ‘just were’ and left it at that. Now Louis could see for the first time, really truly see, that he had to make his own life, take decisions into his own hands and manipulate his own future.

Manipulate his future that he wanted both Harry and Jamie to be a part of, and so that is why Louis is sitting on the last bus that will take him to Harry’s house.

Walking up the familiar path, Louis rings the doorbell. He hopes it’s alright for him to show up like this. Maybe he should have called or texted or something to let Harry know he was coming by. Before Louis can go hide in a bush and text Harry to see if it’s alright for him to come over, the front door opens.

“Louis?”

“Hi?”

He chuckles. “What’re you doing here?”

“Is this a bad time?” Louis asks, sheepishly. “I could come back another day.”

“Now is the perfect time.” He grabs Louis’ arms and pulls him inside the house. “I am glad you’re here actually. I was a bit afraid that everything got weird after the whole shooting chaos.”

Louis narrows his eyes for a brief moment as he lets himself go over the words just said. It doesn’t take him longer than a few seconds to realize who he is speaking to. “Nothing to be afraid of, Jamie. Did you forget that we still chat online and even wrote the next chapter to our story?”

“Oh, yeah!” Jamie nods enthusiastically. “That almost feels like another life ago!”

“Almost,” Louis agrees.

“Well, now that you’re here. I can give you the grand tour of the house,” Jamie smiles. “Follow me.”

Louis already knows where mostly everything is on the ground floor, but lets Jamie show him the living room and the kitchen and his mum’s office. The last stop in Jamie’s tour is on the other side of the living where there’s a television against one wall with a huge shelf of DVDs and board games adjacent to it.

“Wanna watch something?” Jamie asks, pointing to the shelf.

“I want to say yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to choose.” Louis walks over and scans the titles of the movies, some of them he recognizes and some he doesn’t. “I really hope you’re not expecting me to pick.”

Jamie chuckles as he joins Louis at the shelf. “You can’t be that indecisive, can you?” Louis gives him a blank state. “Okay, maybe you can. Just close your eyes and take whatever your hand lands on off the shelf. Leave it to fate and you can’t go wrong.”