I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You (Boy x Boy)

(16) I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

Chapter 16

Jace’s POV

I woke to the sound of beeping and although my head was pounding and everything was foggy I immediately knew where I was. In the hospital. All the pain I had tried to get rid of came flooding back and I felt myself filling with rage. I didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to die. I wanted to forget.

“Jace?” I heard an all too familiar voice say and felt my heart speed up against my will. What the hell is he doing her?

“Jace, can you hear me?” he asked and I couldn’t stop myself from opening my eyes. My head was throbbing and I would have regretted it had he not been standing next to my bed, hovering over me. He looked as hot as ever, maybe even more so but I didn’t want to see him, I didn’t want to allow myself to believe that he cared so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A sharp pain stung through my chest and I could hear myself moan involuntarily.

“Jace?” Drake whispered, his voice overflowing with concern.

“Please leave,” I stuttered, my voice sounding scratchy.

“No, no, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t want you here,” I breathed, forcing myself to keep my eyes closed. If I see him it will just be harder.

“I know you’re angry at me and I don’t blame you, I hate myself too but please just give me a chance to explain,” Drake pleaded

“There’s nothing to explain, I understand perfectly fine,” I replied, as my head started throbbing even harder. I had become aware of a very sore pain radiating up my one arm as well and my wrists had stated burning. I seriously hated whoever it was that found me.

“Your right, explaining it won’t’ help but there is something you need to see. If you still want me to leave afterwards I will go but I’m not leaving until you watch it,” Drake stated stubbornly.

I had no idea what he wanted me to watch or how it was going to change anything but I wanted him gone so the sooner I saw whatever it is the better.

“Okay, show me,” I agreed as I opened my eyes and as soon as I laid eyes on him again I regretted my decision. I should have called for a nurse and asked them to throw him out because my heart was melting with him so close to me and the worried expression on his face wasn’t making anything easier.

He took his cellphone out of his pocket and then held it out in front of me.

I recognized the video immediately. It was the same place as where the photo of Drake and the girl was taken. Drake was sitting on the couch and the blonde was walking towards him. Why was he making me watch this? Could he really be this cruel?

“I don’t want to see it.” I breathed but I couldn’t get myself to look away.  The girl said something to Drake but I couldn’t hear what it was above the music that was playing. I could see him replying and then she sat down on his lap and kissed him. I didn’t’ need to see this, I already knew what it looked like. I had the picture of Drake’s betrayal stuck in my memory forever. I wasn’t prepared for the next part though, I was expecting for Drake to kiss her back like I had though he did but instead he pushed her off of him and I watched as she fell to the floor.

Drake looked really angry as he jumped up and yelled at her.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Drake had told me the truth. He never cheated on me but I wouldn’t listen to him and now look what I have done.

Drake’s POV

I watched as the expression on Jace’s face changed and I could tell what was going through his head. He was hurting, confused and I knew that he was going to hate himself for what he did. That is not what I wanted, I just want him to know the truth. I want him know that I will never hurt him.

“I… I’m sorry,” he stuttered, battling to put his emotions into words.

“It’s okay, I would have thought the same thing if I was you,” I replied, trying to make him feel better as I threw my phone on his bedside table.

“I was so stupid, I should have believed you,” he breathed,

“I wouldn’t have believed me if I saw that photo so please don’t be angry at yourself. It was a misunderstanding that never would have happened in the first place if I didn’t leave you here all alone,” I stated truthfully.

Jace didn’t reply, he just looked at me and then looked away as tears filled his eyes. How could I have been so stupid, how could I have left him?

My mind was working overtime, trying to think of a way to make things easier for him, trying to figure out a way for him to blame me instead of himself. I could deal with it if he is angry with me but not if he is angry at himself. I couldn’t live with it if he ever tried to hurt himself again.

I was about to try to convince him that it was all my fault when a nurse came walking in. As soon as she saw Jace was awake she called a doctor and then I didn’t get to speak to him again. They wanted to take his blood pressure, to check his vitals, and who knows what else. I was glad that they were taking such good care of him but all I wanted to do was be alone with him and try and put the pieces of our relationship back together again. I wanted to hold him and to assure him that I was never going to leave him again. I wanted him to feel safe and loved because I had a feeling that he hasn’t felt like that since I left for university.

I thought he would be okay with me gone, that we would be able to manage but I was wrong. He was obviously lying to me about being fine when I wasn’t there and to be honest I wasn’t coping very well myself. After a few minutes of me being in their way the doctors chased me out of his room. I refused to go anywhere though and waited right outside the door until they were done.

“You should let him rest,” one doctor’s said when they finally told me I could go back inside.

“Okay, I agreed and then rushed passed him, eager to get back to Jace.

His eyes were closed and it looked like he was sleeping so I didn’t try to talk to him, instead I sat down next to his bed and gently took his hand in mine.

“Drake,” Jace whispered softly causing my heart rate to go into overdrive. Hearing him speak my name after almost losing him is more than I could ever ask for. Even if he doesn’t want me I would be the happiest person alive just knowing that he is alive and healthy.

“I’m right here,” I replied, getting my feet but not letting go of his hand.

“Will you hold me?” he asked, as his eyes flickered opened, focused on me and then closed again.

“Yeah, of course,” I replied, willing to do anything for him and anyway, I’ve been dying to hold him in my arms. The problem is that I am also terrified of hurting him, since both his wrists are heavily bandaged from where he cut them and then there is the fact that he had somehow managed to crack the his wrist bone and give himself a concussion as well, not to mention the alcohol poisoning and the damage the loss of blood did to his system.

Jace’s POV

Every part of me was hurting but the immense relief and love I felt for Drake was overwhelming. I was so stupid, I should have listened to him. I should have known that he would never lie to me or hurt me and I am going to have to live with the consequences of what I have done for the rest of my life but right now I just wanted to feel the comfort of Drake’s arms around me.

He was moving so slowly and carefully as he manoeuvred himself beside me and wrapped his arms around me. It felt amazing and I just wanted to stay with him like that forever. In his arms where everything felt right.