I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You (Boy x Boy)

(22) I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

Chapter 22 

Jace’s POV

Drake’s coach was seriously pissed but agreed that he would take him back but only if he arrives for practice on Monday. He wasn’t willing to wait any longer which gave us exactly four days before Drake had to be back. I tried to convince him to go and that I would join him as soon as he finds a place but he refused.

“I’m not going without you,” he simply said and started looking for an apartment. That’s what we have been doing for the last hour. 

“How about this one? “ Drake asked as he scrolled through some pictures.

“I like it,” I replied honestly although I’m not really fussy at all. All I’ve ever wanted was Drake. How big the place is we live in or whether we have furniture or not is the least of my worries.

“Me too and it is available,” Drake said sounding excited. His enthusiasm was contagious and if it wasn’t for the fact that it was getting late and he would want to go to bed soon, I might have enjoyed apartment hunting with him.

After finding out all the information necessary he phoned the estate agent and confirmed everything with them. If we paid the deposit to them within the next twenty four hours the place would be ours and we could move in whenever we wanted to since it was empty.

Drake looked really excited and I wanted to be happy with him but I was getting more and more nervous as the minutes passed. 

“We need to clean your wrists,” Drake stated as he shut down the lap top.

“And your hand,” I replied.

“Yeah, and my hand, now come one lets go,” Drake agreed with a small smile as he got up and held his undamaged hand out to me. I took it in mine and let him lead me up the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest all the way.

“I need to take a shower,” I said as we made our way into our bedroom, hoping that the warm water would somehow manage to calm my nerves.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you out here,” Drake agreed and laid down on the bed, his muscles stretching under his plain white tee shirt. He looked so good and for a second all I could think about was running my fingers over his bare skin.

“You’re staring,” Drake smirked, the corner of his mouth turning up into the most gorgeous smile.

“So what if I am?” I teased and then quickly grabbed some clothes and rushed into the bathroom. I could hear him laughing as I closed the door behind me. 

I felt much lighter than I did a few minutes ago but I was still nervous about going to sleep.

“Are you okay in there?” Drake called through the door and I sighed, knowing that I couldn’t stay locked up in the bathroom forever. The water felt great but didn’t help much.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out,” I called back as I turned off the water. I quickly dried myself off, pulled on my sweats and a tee shirt and made my way out of the steamed up bathroom.

Drake’s POV

Relief filled my body as the door opened and he emerged through the steam. What the hell was he doing in there? I wondered but I didn’t dare ask. It didn’t matter, he was okay and with me. I trailed his body with my eyes and probably stopped at his wrists for longer than I should have. His wounds were healing but still looked pretty bad and every time I saw them I had to remind myself to stay calm.

“We should clean those up,” I stated as I stepped closer to him. He looked nervous. Why would he be nervous?

“I’ll do it,” he replied and started to move past me.

“Let me?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t argue, he hasn’t allowed me to touch his wounds or clean them for him.  I know that he is still struggling with everything that happened even if he seemed a bit better tonight.

Jace didn’t answer, instead he looked away.

“Please,” I half begged as I cupped his cheek in my hand and lifted his face so that he had to look at me.

“Okay, but you should take a shower first,” Jace answered and I didn’t have the heart to argue. The wounds could probably do with some fresh air and at the moment I would take whatever I can get.

I didn’t want to leave him alone though. What if I finished showering and he wasn’t here. I don’t think I could deal with that.

“I’ll wait for you right here,” Jace whispered as if he could read my mind.

“You better,” I agreed, wanting to pull him into my arms more than anything, but instead I let go of him and grabbed some clean clothes.

I showered, dried off and got dressed as quickly as possible, needing to be with Jace.

He was lying on the bed, his arms lifted in front of him and his eyes focused on his wrists. My stomach twisted at the sight and I wondered what was going on in his head. 

“I should have cut down my wrists, not across,” he stated as he sat up but kept his eyes focused on his wrists. His words stopping me in my tracks.

“What?” I spat, shocked.

“Then I would have died, I was stupid,” he answered, tracing his finger over his unhealed scars.

I couldn’t move. I knew I had to say something though but I didn’t know what.

“You would be better off that way,” he continued, his eyes staying focuses on his wrists.

What the fuck?

“No… no I wouldn’t,” I stuttered, unable to form a proper sentence as his words stuck in my head.

“Yeah, you would,” he said way too calmly as he looked up from his wrist and focused his eyes on me. He is gorgeous. His black hair contrasting with his pale skin and ice blue eyes but something is wrong, very wrong.

“Don’t ever say that,” I stated, regaining my composure. He caught me by surprise but I have to be strong and in control of myself so that I can help him deal with everything that happened.

“Why not?” he questioned, his voice void of all emotion.

“Because I won’t be better off without you, in fact, I don’t think I’d be able to survive in this world without you,” I replied honestly. Losing Jace would surely kill me.