Just A Fan

It Hurts

*WARNING* This has depressing, cutting, and bulimia in it!
It's been a year since me and Ethan first met. I still can't believe I'm dating my idol. I used to think I was just a fan. But he made me see that I'm not just another face in the crowd. I'm much more.
We were at the movies right after the movie had ended. I kind of fell asleep on E's shoulder the entire time so I can't even tell you anything about it.
He dove me to my house and we sat on my bed together. All of a sudden he pushes me down and hovers over me kissing all over my face as I giggled and tried pushing him away.
"E!" I laughed.
He pulled away and moved down, laying his head on my stomach and hugs my leg.
I smiled ever so brightly.
"I love you so much." He said.
"I love you so much more." I replied.
I noticed that my phone was blowing up so I looked at it while playing with Ethan's hair.
I saw all the hate... I knew I would get some but I didn't know it would be this bad. I teared up as I read it all.
"Shes ugly and fat"
"She doesn't deserve him"
"He can do so much better"
"Just kill yourself Emerald!"
"They will break up soon. I know it"
"E?" I said, my voice shaking, trying not to cry, still reading the hate.
He looked up at me and quickly sat up and cups my cheeks.
"What's the matter babe?"
I was silent letting the tears fall.
He took my phone out of my hand.
"No!" I screamed reaching for my phone.
He got up and read it all and I ran to my bathroom, slamming the door and looking into the mirror. I couldn't take this... It was like like Jr. High all over again.
I took my blade and hesitated before pushing the sharp metal into my wrist. Not at my veins so it was alright.
I slid the blade through 6 times... The blood dripped to the floor. I waited for a moment. Then did the same to my other wrist, both of my thighs, and my stomach. I had to loose weight also... I was fat. I pushed my fingers down my throat as far as I could before forcing myself to throw up.
I finally let my wrists, thighs, and stomach stop bleeding and I cleaned them with water then walked out, running into Ethan with tears running down his face on my bed.
He looked up at me and looked at my thighs.
"Emerald!" He yelled letting more tears fall. He got up and ran to my pulling my into a tight hug.
"Baby don't do this to yourself. You are perfect to me. Those haters are stupid for saying that! I love you and you alone. Nobody else, you're my everything. If I lost you I would have to leave this world because there would be no meaning to me living here without you here in my arms."