forever.

the last prayer.

I spent the rest of my birthday night sobbing; infuriated. How could someone do this to her; to me? I couldn't take it anymore. I felt that empty feeling again, because she wasn't nestled in my arms. I couldn't do a damn thing...not a thing.

The next day, they found her body, and the culprit next to it...McNillice.

"I wanted to wish her a happy birthday, and when I saw her come in the resturaunt, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to sweep her off of her feet. She looked so hot, too. I dragged her out of the place and into a dark alley; I needed somewhere quiet and private so I could work my magic. I pulled down my pants, and yanked up her skirt, and she flipped out, the little bitch, so I drugged her to make her fall asleep, so that I could toy with her body more...I guess it was overdose. I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't budge, so I carried her to the river. I was gonna throw her in, but I was too tired."

I watched the confession tape over and over. "That asshole! He overdosed my girlfriend...she's gone because he wanted sex...

drugs, rape, murder? I never would have thought that I'd ever have to be caught up in this. I'm gonna kill myself," I thought while sobbing.

"McNillice is in prison, and everything's normal again; except, it's not. My life is ruined. Her family's life is, too, all because that jackass wanted sex. Well...I know for sure that everyone here is in pain here, too, but oh my gosh, do I want to see her alive again. I need her love, it strengthens me and helps me believe in myself, and I know I strengthen her, too. She was such a strong and powerful, beautiful, sexy, amazing, intelligent, talented...ugh, kill me before I start crying.....person. I can't deal with her absence. I know that I can never, ever, ever...oh, God....ever love any other human being alive.....here comes the tears...as much as I loved her. She meant the world to me. She was my life. She gave me a purpose to live. I've always loved her, looked up to her, let her do her own thing, and her thing was helping people understand their place; their purpose in life. She was that light, and now, the light is dead. I have no other purpose in life now, but love, her love, specifically, makes me happy, and we promised each other that we'd always be happy, with or without each other....but I still can't get over it...I couldn't do a damn thing to help her. Not. A. Damn. Thing.

I'll have to wait for someone else to come around I guess. I hope that someone is the reincarnated version of her. If it is her, though, I'll wait. Forever. forever."

"Amen."

The funeral was over, and so was my purpose. But now, I have a new one: to wait for a certain someone to come along; now I'm going to wait. forever.