What If... [Under Construction]

I Don't Want To Talk

After being stuck inside my gandparents house all day, I was forced to take a walk. Figuring it would help level out my thoughts, I didn't argue.

I plug my ears with my headphones, and turn the music up all the way, drowning out everything around me. I took a deep breath as I pass by Ryan's house. He was out in his front yard, playing football with Chaz and Nolan. They all look over as I passed, and I turn my attention to the front, away from them.

Out of the coner of my eye I could see them mouthing something to me. Ignoring them, I began to walk faster. There's no need for me to ask them what they wanted. They'd only piss me off.

I continue my walk, I pass by the spot where I used to sit and play my guitar infront of everyone. A lot of people enjoyed it. I remember the one time where I saved enough money for me and my mom to go to Disney World.

That was in the past though. No more sitting out on the steps, and singing to everyone who bothered to stop and listen. I'm sure someone from school would just come by and embarrass me, thus ending my career of being a street performer.

"Look mommy!" a girl yells. "Thats the guy from youtube!" Her mom nods, and pushes her along. "Wait Mommy!" the little girl yells as she struggles to let loose of her mother's grip on her arm. "I wanna get an autograph!"

I could hear her mother saying something in her ear, and the girl looks at me with sad eyes before turning her back to me, and walking off with her mom.

At least they remember me.

I continue walking, and decide to sit inside McDonalds. I was hungry, and haven't eaten lunch yet. I stand in line, and begin to turn down my music as I overhear laughter behind me. I turn to look over my shoulder, and groan. Right behind me stands a group of kids that go to my school. I turn back around, and ignore them, hoping and praying they would leave me alone.

I was wrong.

Someone pokes my shoulder. I didn't turn, knowing they were only going to start something that would get me into trouble. A sudden rush of something cold, and sticky spashes onto the top of my head, and begins to drip down my back.

"What the hell!" I yell turning. Some guy stands behind me, in his hand, an empty McDonald's cut held above my head.

"Awww." he says. "Did I mess up your hair?" Anger boiles inside of me, and I jump at him, tackling him to the ground.

"Woah." he says, laughing, "The kids got some balls!" He pickes me up off of him, and knees me in the stomach.

"Hey!" the manager yells as he walks to the front of the counter. "Get outa here with that crap!" The guy who kneed me shoves me to the ground. I fall into the soda that was spilled into the floor.

The group left, laughing at me. I got up slowly, and, deciding I wasn't hungry anymore, I ran home, not bothering with anyone in my way.

When I got home, my mom is standing by the computer, watching a YouTube video.

"Have you seen this?" she asks me, replaying the video. I walk over, only to see me in McDonald's as the guy knees me in the stomach and shoves me to the ground. It was only 12 seconds long, but already over 100 views.

I knew most of those views were of kids from my school.

"Justin...sit down." Mom says.

"No." I moan.

"We need to talk!" she yells

"No we don't!" I yell back, angry that she keeps wanting to bring this up. "Okay? Words won't help!"

"Well actions won't either!" she argues, "I hate seeing you like this." Her voice was now calm.

I bite my lower lip, preventing me  from saying anything more, and walk to my room. Mom yells at me to stop. I slam my bedroom door, and locked it from the inside.

I change out of my sticky clothes, and  throw on some sweats, and a plain white shirt. I walk into the bathroom, and put my head under some running water, washing out the coke. Going back into my room, I throw myself into my bed, and hide myself under the blankets.

The door flies open, and I curse under my breath. I forgot about Grandma having the keys to every door in the house.

"Justin." Mom says. I duck my head under the blankets, curling into a fedel position. She pulls the blankets off my body, and I look over at the wall, my back towards her.

"Stop this, Justin." Mom starts. "You can't just bottle up your feelings, and not tell anyone about them."

"Wach me." I say dully. "Now can you leave?"

"Not until you tell me whats going on." Mom sits on the edge of my bed and I groan.

"I don't feel like talking, Mom." I spit. "Thats all you want to do!"

"Cause I would like to know whats going on!"

"Well, your not going to know whats going on!" I yell, frustrated. "Now leave!"

"Don't raise your voice with me, young man."

I curl my hands into fists, and squeeze my eyes shut as I begin to feel angry tears threatening to break through my eyes  Why does she have to be a nagging bitch about this?

"Just Leave.." I say, my voice thick. I could feel Mom standing, and heard her leave the room, shutting the door behind her.

I put my face in my hands, and just let the tears escape my eyes. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, trying to calm down. I look around my room. On my bedside table, there sat a picture of Ryan and me at soccer practice. I smile softly  at it as I pick it up off the table. Suddenly, remembering how much of a backstabber he became, I toss it across the room.

It smacks the wall hard, and shatters under imact.

"No need for that." I mutter to myself, I used my shirt to wipe my tear streaked face. I lean back on my bed, not bothering with picking up the now shattered memory that lies on the floor.

I bring the blankets back over my body, and lay there for a few minutes. One last tear streaks down my cheek. I wipe it away, and pull my head under my blanket, going back into my fedal position.

I don't think I'll ever come out.

Updated July 07,2012