Nixon

••• Twenty-Seven •••

I jerk up, eyes opening at the speed of lightening, and chest heaving up and down as my body is covered in sweat. Running my hands through my hair, I try and calm down, taking in breathes in sets of threes, my brain fuzzy. My head spins and my vision becomes blurring as a tear escapes. Right away I shoot up my hand to wipe away the evidence of a tear ever falling, looking to my right to see Nixon beside me, asleep as my jaw clenches. I have to go back to sleep. I need to go back into the slumber that I had awoken from, the image of Gavin's limp body flashing through my mind. I can remember the bloody trail his body left behind as Justin dragged it out of the house, how Nixon pulled me into the room, how the moonlight consumed us. After him telling me all of those words about how we could never part, he pulled me into his arms and carried me up the stairs. He laid me down to rest and I've been here sense, getting little naps in here and there as I cannot stop seeing Gavin's dead body.

Warm arms wrap around me, pulling me into a hard chest, lips pressed against my temple. I cringe, wanting to push him away and run, to undo what I have done. I cannot go back to my family, to a mother who judges me, a sister who hates me, and a father who does not understand me. To a family Nixon would not hesitate to harm to get to me. To the woman who he has no idea is carrying his child. After all we have done, I got knocked up, we used protection but that wasn't enough. The protection we used to prevent this from happening means nothing now as he holds me and I hold a secret from him. A secret that keeps me from leaving if I ever told it. But if I ever ran, I only fear what could happen if I decided to run. It is not just my life I will be placing in danger or that I have to look out for, no, I am now also looking out for my child's now as well. No doubt Nixon will catch on, the morning sickness that should be kicking in any second, the cravings, the swollen fingers and feet, not to mention the bump. It's either that I leave before the signs are present and pray he never finds me or I tell Nixon and pray for the best.

The arms loosen their hold as my body remains tense, his eyes meeting mine as he turns my face with his strong fingers. Fingers that could wrap around my neck and twist it at a rate with a force that causes my body to fall limp. "Lily, you knew going behind my back would not be taken lightly," Nixon whispers. "Lily?"

I shake my head, body shaking as I push Nixon away, my whole body jittery as I climb off of the bed and place myself before the balcony doors. My whole body feels as if it is ready to shut down, for my systems to fail and to escape this situation. Nixon watches me as he sits up, curious as he simply awaits my words. I cross my arms, circling my body as I try and give myself any form of comfort. My tongue feels as if it is swollen, my eyes wide, and my throat dry. "You killed him," I whisper, my voice weak as I begin to cry. "You killed Gavin." He nods. "You're insane!"

He cocks his head to the side, crossing his arms now as his eyebrows knit together. "You're fucking delusional and I have been blind to have stayed here so long. You placed me up against my family and bet on that and stupid me followed along with that," I shout, my legs weak as I want to crumble to the floor and cry until the sun rises. The sunlight is what I seek now, how my life seems to now be spent in the lifeless moonlight that consumes this hollow house. "I've stayed here and let you have your way with me over and over again and I've been so delusional to believe there was more to you. That there could be more to us."

I've been digging my own grave the moment I stepped into his house.

"You're so insane that if I ran from here you would hunt me down and harm whoever stood in your way."

I need to stop speaking.

I sob, turning around to the balcony doors as I open them with a strong force, the double doors slamming against the walls as I storm out. The tears begin to cloud my vision as I know Nixon will only follow me. My body becomes weak as I lean against the railing, looking to the pool below, the gardens, the layout of the backyard where the flowers no longer hold vibrant colors, but pale hues from the moonlight.