Rebecca

Chapter 5: Let Love In

OKAY SO I KNOW THAT ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I UPDATED BUT I PROMISE THEY WAIT WAS WORTH AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LEAVE WHAT YOU THOUGHT IN THE A COMMENT BELOW AND VOTE.

AND THIS CHAPTER WILL BE EDITED LATER SO I AOLIGIZE FOR ANY MESS UPS

Chapter 5 – Let Love In

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     Ever since the event at Macy’s grave I tried to keep my optimistic and uplifting mood I had but slowly, it has made its way back, pulling me back under into my usual downhearted outlook on everything around me. And I’ve started avoiding Steven, it has been exactly four days of avoiding him, I haven’t been to school – that’s definitely out of the question – but he still makes a point to make sure I have all my books and work. I’m avoiding him for the simple fact that it’s too hard to look at him and not feel horrible that he’s trying so hard and I just can’t bring myself to try as hard as he is. The phone calls start at 7:45 on the dot every day and I’ve answered a total of three times out of forty saying a quick I’m sorry and then hanging up phone.

     And on top of Steven to avoid, I now have John to worry about, I can’t lie, I had an amazing time with him and he’s a great guy; parents are still happily married, he’s the oldest of four kids and the only boy, and a dog named Roscoe. I refrained the entire night from being Pessimistic Rebecca although she fought harder to come out every time he talked out his sister who vaguely reminded me of Macy, it was like have a 400 pound woman with six-inch stilettos stand on my chest. But I didn’t let it show – that’s a skill I’ve acquired over some time since Macy died – fooling him with a smile and occasional laugh. I felt bad for not being able to really enjoy myself with him and really get to know him but as soon as he mentioned his sister that reminded me it hit like a ton of bricks. He thinks he did something wrong on the date, that he talked to much about himself but I assure him that my life a little hectic at the time and that lasts for a week and then he’s back. I will never understand how anyone wants to put up with me.

     But today I don’t have the right to sulk and sit around in my room wasting away before myself, on  this day I have to try and I don’t have a choice but to put everything I have into being happy today and not to mourn. It’s our birthday, we would’ve both been nineteen today and now it’s just me, I have to be strong for her today, be happy today and have fun. So I am going to drag myself out of bed and get dress; I’m going to face Steven – even face Ethan for god sake and who knows how that’s going to go.

     I pull myself out of bed and wipe the sleep out of the corners of my eyes while looking for something to slip into from the clothes exploding out of my closet. I settle on blue cropped and fitted shirt and a pair of old denim jeans and slipped my feet into my white canvas shoes before grabbing my bag and heading downstairs. Walking into my kitchen my parents waiting for me at the table with bright smiles on their face and they sat in front of a box and cake, walking closer I peer over the counter enough to see that they wrote Happy Birthday, Rebecca and Macy! I smile with my eyesight being clouded by a few tears and run over to the side of the counter and hug them both.

     “Thank you,” I say into my father’s shoulder, “today, I’m going to be okay and you can count on me today.” I pull away far enough to look at the both of them and they give a knowing smile. I eat a slice of cake while I talk to my parents about visiting Macy before I go to school.

     “Wait, we got you something.” My mom pushes the box toward me and scoots closer into my father’s chest. I open the box to reveal another two small white boxes. I open the smaller, square one and my eyes meet a set of familiar keys – the ones to the cabin to be exact – I know from the nail polish stained key with her initial, M on one side and mine, R on the other side. These are the keys that used to lead up to the best weekends of my life since I was 16 and we were able to go to the cabin by ourselves. Most weekend would consist of reruns of Friends and eating our combined body weight in food, and others would involve initially invited a small group of friends but end in half of our class getting drunk and passing out on any open surface in the cabin. I smile up to my parents and move to the next box.