Broken Homes {Lashton & Malum}

XIII

Calum stood barefoot on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, glancing into the mirror in front of him with his eyes fixated on the underside of his jaw. He'd never really looked at it with much care, but as he tilted his head from side to side, the sharp jawline he just assumed everyone had wasn't there. His face seemed to melt into his neck, no defined end to his jaw. The other boys had sharp jawlines, where was his? Calum then stared his reflection directly in the eyes as he lifted a cold hand, grabbing at the skin on his face. He bit his lip at the amount he could pinch, squeezing the skin until it was red and marked with his fingerprint. Should he be able to pinch that much of his skin? Wasn't the face supposed to be naturally quite bony?

He subconsciously leaned forward, squinting at the details in his face. His cheekbones weren't really all that noticeable - well, as noticeable as Ashton's, anyway - and then his chocolate brown eyes locked on his cheeks. People had always said they were squishy, and that he had chubby cheeks which were perfect to poke. No one seemed to do it to anyone else, however. Why did he have squishy cheeks? Were they meant to be that chubby? He moved his hand to poke at the soft skin, grimacing at how far his finger could sink in. They really were chubby.

He could feel the anxiety building up in his chest, just by looking in the mirror, and he figured he'd better do what he'd come into the bathroom for. Just as Calum went to open the bottle of pills in his hand, the bathroom door opened and someone tumbled in, freezing when seeing somebody was already in there. Calum's head snapped to the side, trying to hide the pills from view as he recognised the person as Luke. His face paled, and he hoped Luke would just leave without another word.

But, despite Calum's best efforts, Luke had seen the bottle and he seemed to not want to make any effort to leave, instead just standing and staring at Calum with narrowed eyes."Why... Why do you have a bottle of pills?"

Calum only gulped. He didn't know how to answer this. How was he supposed to tell Luke that he had anxiety and that these pills were to calm him down each morning. He didn't need Luke making fun of him, the blond already hated him and Calum didn't want to go making that worse. But Luke didn't like his silence, and he didn't seem accepting of no answer."Calum. Why do you have pills?"

Luke's voice was stern but, for some reason, he didn't sound angry towards Calum. And Calum knew there was no way he was getting out of this and that Luke wouldn't let him avoid answering, so he took his hand that was holding the bottle from behind his back and slowly stretched it out to Luke, who grabbed the bottle quickly. Luke took a bit longer than normal to read it, but Calum was okay with that and he just waited.

Finally, Luke looked up with wide eyes, handing the bottle back to Calum."Anxiety pills?" Luke exclaimed, filled with disbelief. He didn't doubt that Calum had anxiety, that wasn't the case, but Luke had figured by now that Calum didn't actually have anxiety. It had been a while since the visit to the doctor, and since then Calum had made no mention of having anxiety so Luke had just assumed he didn't have it. Now, however, Luke was realising that he was wrong and, judging by the look on Calum's face, he knew that Calum had intended to keep this hidden from everyone."You have anxiety? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Calum just stared at Luke in utter horror. This was not supposed to happen, nobody was supposed to find out about this. He was meant to keep this a secret from everyone, Luke especially because he was the one most likely to make fun of him for it. He was actually scared of Luke, after everything that had happened between them recently he just couldn't help it. Deep down he knew Luke was a nice person - that was proven when Calum saw him with Ashton - and Luke was the one that had helped him on the day of his first panic attack, so if it wasn't for Luke then Calum wouldn't have these pills right now. But that still didn't change the fact that Calum was scared.