Book 3 - Allesandra (Completed) GirlxGirl) (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 12

HAZEL'S POV

This has been an amazing experience. I can feel myself falling fast for Alle. However one thing is bothering me. I think its time we talked about it. "Hazel, you are so much like Kylie. You are the only other person in this world that I feel safe and happy with." I set down my glass and turned to Alle. "Alle, we need to talk about this." Alle looked at me very confused. "Talk about what?"

"Alle you keep saying that I remind you of Kylie but I am nothing like her. She grew up with you helping in the shelter, I grew up needing the shelter. She had everything to offer you and I am just living everyday to get by. I have done some pretty awful things that I'm not proud of just so I can pay bills. Alle I am not Kylie and I never can be." Alle looked down at her hands.

"Hazel I never meant that when I said you were like Kylie. You have a heart just like hers and you understand me. I didn't mean to imply anything else. I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I don't expect nor do I want you to be exactly like Kylie." At first I was going to get up but I decided that if I want to give us a chance, I need to tell Alle some things I have never told anyone.

"Alle, I still need to talk you about some things. You need to know the person I am." Alle just looked at me waiting. "When I left the orphanage I didn't have anything but the clothes I was wearing. They told me where to find a shelter for homeless women but to me that felt like being in an orphanage for adults. I know those places have helped a lot of people but I just couldn't bring myself to go. I needed a place to stay and some money until I got a job." Alle stopped me.

"Why didn't you go to Abby? They would have helped you? She is your best friend after all." I smiled. This was going to be hard to explain. "I didn't even tell her I'm in the orphanage. She knew I didn't have money but at this point she respected my privacy and never pushed. She knew that I was lying to her about my home situation but she knew I would talk to her when I was ready. I honesty think she knew. She was always checking up on me and inviting me to stay over or eat there."

I looked at Alle but she motioned me to continue. "She has been good to me. But I also didn't want to be a burden to her. Being out on the streets wasn't so bas as long as I had her for a friend. I had been out on the street for a couple of weeks. I was hungry and just wanted to rest some place comfortable where I didn't have to worry about being raped, killed or mugged while I slept. I was sitting in the park one day and heard this women talking to her friend about the trip they were leaving on the next day. They would be gone for a week and they left the key in the back under a rock."

"She asked her friend to water her plants one time half way through the week and that there was food in there she could take if she wanted. I figured it was perfect because the friend wouldn't know what was really in there and any food that was gone when they came back they would assume was taken by the friend helping out. So I followed her back to her house to see where see lived. The next day I went there and everything was just as she said. I stayed there all week. I was able to shower and wash my clothes and sleep in a nice, soft and warm bed. It was heaven. I had never had it so good but I was stealing it. I shouldn't have been there but I was desperate."

Alle smiled. I hope she still keep that smile. "While I was there I decided I didn't want to live on the streets anymore. I didn't want to have to steal and brake into places for food and shelter. I hated myself for it. So I made a choice to do something I swore I would never do. I decided to sell myself for money. I was only going to do it long enough to find a job and get a place of my own. Even though the abused started way younger and I despise men but I really need the money to survive."

I know she will hate me after I said this. "That's what I did for 5 months. I hated to look at my body anyways and after the abuse I had gone through most of my life, I could easily have sex with men and in my mind I would be somewhere else. I am not telling you this so you feel sorry for me because it all worked out. I don't have any STD from it. I always had the rule of condoms. I never got pregnant or anything. I do have an issue with my period but that is genetic from what I am told. It comes and goes just whenever. Sometimes it is heavy and sometimes it is barely anything. I have my ways of dealing with it."