5:47 a.m.
"You'll have to make sure that she stays overly hydrated at all times. It's the best thing for her." I hear someone say as my eyes creek open. Bright lights are shining on me and I'm in an unfamiliar room.
The walls are white, tha bed is stiff, and there's medical equipment against the walls.. "I'm in the ER." I whisper to myself, apparently loudly because I see the doctor and Cory's eyes draw to me.
"Topanga! Your awake.. How are you feeling?" Cory asks rushing to my bedside, kneeling down. His cold hand grasps mine and holds It tightly, calming my nerves a bit.
"I feel fine.. What happened?" I ask. Cory looks down letting out a deep sigh, giving me a sense of confusion. I quickly look to the doctor who's looking at his hands.
"Cory.. What happened to the baby? How's lily?" I say quickly squeezing his hand, concerned. Suddenly after a moment of silence, I remember what happened. I remember the blood, I remember waking up to the doctors rushing my gurney into the ER, and waking up once again to Cory sobbing in his hands while the doctor talked.
I let go of Cory's hand and set them over my mouth, as he looks up with watering eyes.
Lily's dead. I'll never hold my baby in my arms and be able to see her smile. See the light in her eyes when she's told something funny. Watch her gain a best friend and grow into a beautiful person.
Suddenly I realize I'm sobbing into my hands very loudly. The doctor steps out and shuts the door behind him to give us a moment. Cory takes down the side rail and plants himself down on the edge of the bed. Tears start streaming down his cheeks - which doesn't happen often.
I sit up and set my head on his shoulder, as he does the same in synch.
Two days ago I was scared to have a baby. Lily made me more nervous then anything in my entire life, because we weren't prepared. I wished that I wouldn't be pregnant anymore and that lily didn't exist. Is this my fault?
"Cory.. Can we go home?" I say between breaths, as we both sit up straight.
Cory uses the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears from under my eyes, and silently nods.
6:20 a.m.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep. You go ahead and take the day off, but I have to be at work in about half an hour." Cory says as we walk into our home and shut the door behind us. I nod slowly walking toward our bedroom.
"Hey, are you okay?" I head Cory say behind me. He always knows.
"No." I say with a very delirious smile, looking down. I quicken my pace and walk into my bedroom, laying down on the bed.
