5:30 p.m.
I open the door to walk into my house, shutting the door behind me. As I turn my head I see Candles lit around the Room and Riley, Auggie, and Cory sitting at the table.
"What's this?" I ask with a small grin, walking over to the table and siting down. There's a prepared meal on all of our plates. Chicken breast, mixed vegetables, and mashed potatoes. As always.
"Well mom, we thought you deserved a nice dinner to cheer you up." Riley said with a beaming smile. I look over at Auggie to see him and Cory nodding in unison, making me chuckle.
"This is very sweet of you all." I say as I start to cut my chicken to begin eating. I'm very blessed, why have I forgotten this? Sadly, I can tell the kids dragged Cory into doing this. He hasn't said a word and is pushing a smile, so he's definitely still frustrated with this afternoon.
Chatter between Auggie and Riley went on through dinner and I just stayed quiet.
6:15 p.m.
I climbed under my soft thick comforter and was enriched in my silky sheets. I hear Cory opening the bedroom door and turn my head to see him in his plaid boxers and black T-shirt.
"H-H-Hey baby." I mutter, stuttering. He's so mad at me right now, this was taken too far. My family is my entire world and I can't have any one of them mad at me. Cory especially.
Cory glances at me and I feel like daggers are shooting from his eyes. He gives me snug look and climbs into bed beside me.
"Cory, are you okay?" I question with a shaky voice, turning my head to him, and sitting up straight. He looks down as he fiddled his thumbs. Why would he be anxious? That's always his tell. He fiddles his thumbs and I know.
"Topanga, when is this going to end?" Cory asks sternly. His voice seems so cold lately. He's unhappy.
When is what going to end? I want to tell him right now. I want to comfort him. But I can't. The angers building.. Can I just stuff it down? Put it away?
"When is what going to end?" I say louder and more sternly then I meant to. I look at Cory and he's fiddling his thumbs faster. He quickly turns his head to look at me and my heart race quickens.
"When am I going to stop being sad? When am I going to stop crying about the fact that my fucking baby died?" I mutter out, louder as I talk. Cory's eyes widen and I can tell he's now angry, but so am I. No one understands how it feels to have that all taken away from you.
"Your not the only one hurting Topanga! You need to realize that!" Cory yells. My lips quiver just be hearing him this angered with me.
Cory shakes his head and sighs.
"I just want things to be normal again." Cory says calmly. His shoulders finally relax as he looks back over at me.
"Okay you know what? Things aren't normal. They will never be the same way again Cory! Our Baby died! Our little girl, the one I prayed for! Months on end I prayed for that child, and look what happened! Shit happened, okay? Things that God can't take back!" I practically scream out. Tears start streaming down my face and I shake my head as Cory looks down.
"I'm so sick of crying." I say wiping my tears, As Cory grabs me and pulls me into his chest. Finally.
I let all of my sobs out, all of my worries, everything. Cory's the only person I'll break down in front of. He's the only person who doesn't make me feel weak. Yes others have seen me, but not by Choice.
Cory sets his chin on top of my head and strokes my back. I've missed this texture of his t-shirt, and his warmth he lets off. He makes me feel something I can't describe.
I try to concentrate on one thing - his heartbeat. Every time I'm scared that's what I do. Hell, I'm terrified. Cory squeezes me tighter as I lay intertwined in his arms. I can't do this by myself anymore.
