»DYLAN O'BRIEN IMAGINES«

but im forever missing him

"And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
But I'm forever missing him"

••••

Guess you can say I don't know anymore.

I've lost it.

I've lost him.

Because I have no patience.
No grip.
No idea.

All he wanted to do was help and I surrounded myself in a barrier of pity.

Allison wasn't supposed to go. Not Allison Argent. Not my Allison.

I haven't talked to anyone in two weeks and I'm still wearing the clothes from the night of the fatality.

Stiles has tried more than anything to get me to talk to him or even just cry. I refuse to do either.

I love Stiles with all my heart. But my heart is lost in the emotions.

I guess Stiles gave up on me.

Mostly because I gave up on me too.

I think he was tired chasing after something that he can't catch.

"Y/N I'm sorry but I can't anymore. I know you're hurt inside but if I can't help, I'm only making it worse. I love you more than you'll ever know. And I always will"

The words flashback in my head, making it ache more.

I get up, grab my phone and keys, and I take off.

I drive off in the distance until I'm not sure where I am anymore. This is how I'm supposed to be.

Alone, broken, and lost.

I turn my phone on for the first time in 5 days.

64 missed calls
236 texts
1 voicemail

"I'm sorry that I let you down" I hear in the voice of the one and only, Stiles Stilinski.

How did he let me down?

I check my texts and see most from Stiles, Malia, Lydia and Scott.

I see Malia's first and read the 12 she sent.

Y/N
Sorry
You need to come back to us
We need you
All of us
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry I did this
I did it
That's why you're not answering
Someone already told you
I'm sorry I kissed him.
And I'm sorry I liked it.

The tears threaten to spill but I hold them back.

He's moved on and so has everyone else.

It's time I suck it up and call him.

One ring goes by and I hear his familiar voice.

Y/N?
Stiles
Y/N where are you. You're car isn't at home.
I'm not in Beacon Hills.
Noted.
I had to find myself.
How's that going.
I was my happiest self with you. But you moved on. You and Malia. I know. And I'm dying inside but on the outside I'm pretending I'm okay because if I don't then-
I'm sorry.
So am I, Stilinski.

I hang up the phone and lean back in my seat.

A single tear falls and I fall asleep with more stinging my eyes.

*timeskip to morning*

I wake up to the sound of a car pulling up next to mine.

I also remember I'm in the desert aka the middle of nowhere because my best friend died and my boyfriend moved on to another girl because I'm an asshole.
Cool.

"Y/N!" someone yells out.

I get out of the car, not caring I actually look homeless right now.

"Hello?" I yell back, my voice cracking a bit.

"Y/N! I've been looking for you since 8 last night! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Nice to see you to Stiles."

"What did you want me to do"

"You did what was best for you and sweetheart that's what I've always wanted."

"You're best for me"

"Not like this"

"Can I explain"

"Knock yourself out Stilinski"

"I went home after another night of sleeping outside your door, praying you'd just open it and let me in. So I could hold you, and help you. I was in the jeep and Malia asked how you were doing when she texted me. I told her you weren't talking still. She asked if she could come over and I said yes. I was crying in my room because all I ever wanted was the best for you and I couldn't give you that which broke me. She was trying to comfort me and she kissed me. I pulled away after a minute because I couldn't do that."

"What did you say when you pulled away"

"'You're not her'"

"You're right. She's better."

"But she's not"

"Stiles I'm tired and I don't want to fight with you right now because the fact of having you here right now is breaking me because I'm too weak to accept you back into my life."

"Well if this is goodbye for awhile-"

He cuts himself off when his lips smash into mine, my body filling with warmth and familiarization.

"Fuck you Stilinski" I murmur while my lips are still against his.

"You can do so anytime Y/L/N"

••••

WHAT IS THIS TRASH WTF I APOLOGIZE DONT HATE ME

sorry I haven't updated in forever I've been working on other things ;););););) wink wink

but I'll try and update more sooo yeah adios amigos

OH AND THANKS FOR LIKE 400 READS WTF GUYS ILY

xoxox
romy