Died (Layne Staley ❤️)

A Sister's Love

The Present, December 1996

When Layne finally nodded off to sleep in his bedroom, Liz went to work.  She filled up two whole trash bags full of beer cans, booze bottles, & just all around random articles of trash.  She vacuumed the carpet & mopped the tile floors.  She decided to toss out all of his dishes, considering they most likely hadn't been washed in over half a year.

His place looked actually decent for once, like he gave a shit about it.  Liz smiled to herself as she organized his video game & VHS collection on the floor.  When she removed them, she had found a red fo-leather photo album.  Her curiosity peaked, taking a seat on the now clean couch in his living room & lighting a cigarette.

She frowned when she flipped the album open.  They were all photos of Demri.  Some of them with Layne in it, but for the most part, it was an entire collection of Demri photos.  She teared up as she analyzed them, remembering how horrible Demri really was to him.  Liz knew that Layne loved her.  Heck, he would've killed for her if it boiled down to it.  But she was abusive.  Her & Liz never got along.  Liz knew Demri hated her because she could see right through her bullshit.  She knew Demri was mostly just using him as a living breathing wallet.  At least nearing the last couple years of their relationship.

Anger flushed through her, making her slam the photo album shut.  She hid it in the very top cabinet in the kitchen, praying that Layne wouldn't find it.  She assumed he already knew where the album was at, but she didn't want him to look at it anymore.  Demri's main weapon used towards Layne was guilt.  She presumed he would get even worse if he continued to look at the photos of her.

Liz peeped through the crack of Layne's bedroom door.  A grimace stretched across her face when she saw him tying a tourniquet tight around his arm.  She immediately shut her eyes & turned away, praying his heart wouldn't stop from the shot.

She tapped back into his kitchen, sighing when she opened the refrigerator door. 

Nothing. 

Aside from a few cans of beer & a half drank bottle of Jameson's.  Turning around to eye the corded landline telephone, she shrugged.

"Fuck it, we'll get take out," she mumbled to herself.  She flipped through the telephone book beside the phone, finding the nearest pizza place & ordered a pizza & a 2 liter of soda.

Not too much sooner, the pizza delivery guy was in the doorway of the apartment, collecting the cash from Liz.  She set the pizza box down on the coffee table & knocked on Layne's bedroom door.

"Hey, you decent?" she asked.

"Sure," he called out, his tone morbid.

She turned the knob & peaked her head into his room.  She tried her best not to analyze all of the dope splayed out on his night stand.  She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut when she realized it was distracting the heck out of her.

"Got us some pizza, come on out," she demanded.

Layne slowly got up from the bed, following his sister out to the living room.  Those red, dim and lifeless eyes grew wide as he took in his now squeaky clean apartment.

"Damn, Liz, you didn't have to do all this," he commented, taking a seat on his couch.  A soft smile replaced that usual bitter frown as he raised an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged & sat down next to him.  She smirked at him as she handed him a slice of pizza.  "Well, I'm going to be staying here," she said.  "I can't sleep in a dirty house...no offense."

Layne chuckled at that, taking a bite.  "Nah, it's fine.  Thank you for cleaning this place up for me."

Liz winked at him.  They sat for a while, just chewing on cheese pizza.  The silence was driving Liz up the wall, making her flick the television set on.  She flipped through the channels until she spotted the science channel.  She giggled when she realized it was a special on UFOs.

"Oh, look, Layne," she said, nudging him in the ribs to look at the TV screen.  "It's an airplane."

Layne laughed, shaking his head at the footage of the 'UFO' the fanatics found.  "Isn't it weird they always find these aliens in Alabama & shit?"

Liz grinned.  "Hillbilly aliens."

"Ha!  Man, I miss Bill Hicks," Layne muttered.  His smile suddenly got solum, stuffing the rest of his pizza into his mouth.

Liz's brow creased with concern.  "You want another slice...?"

Layne winced & shook his head.  He wrapped his bony arm around his torso.  "Stomach hurts..."

She sighed, eyeing him up & down.  She couldn't contain her curiosity.  She decided to come right out & ask.  "Is it from heroin?"

He stared at her for a moment, blinking.  He shrugged though, deciding he might as well be honest with her for once about his illness.  "Couldn't score boy the other day, so I got a vile of morphine...  But, yeah, it always hurts my stomach."

Her eyes softened, taking in the helplessness in his face.  "...how much have you been doing in a day?"

"Too much," he squeaked.  He bit his lip, deciding to light a cigarette.  He kept his eyes on the television screen, knowing all too well what kind of look Liz was giving him.

"Does it help?"

He took a drag, slowly exhaling the smoke.  "It used to."

She grabbed Layne's hand, making him jump a bit.  His face was wrinkled with discomfort, but she didn't care anymore about his feelings towards his addiction.  Liz was tired of pretending like he had it all under control.  It killed Demri.  It'll kill him, too.  And that terrified her.

She flipped his arm over so she could study his forearm.  Her brows furrowed as she took in the gnarly scars that matted it, some of them purple, most of them a pale cream color.  She remembered a time when he had beautiful, soft smooth skin.  Back when he was in highschool, when his innocence wasn't fully destroyed.  He was so happy then.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, glancing up to see Layne couldn't even look at her in the eye.  She could tell he was more than embarrassed about it.  She ran her fingers along the bumps on his arm, a sigh escaping her when she decided to let go.  Layne immediately pulled his arm back around his stomach, cringing again.

"I love you, Layne," Liz whispered.

Layne put out his cigarette, forcing a sad smile back at her.  His stoned eyes were gleaming with tears.  "I love you too, Liz..."

She couldn't help herself but to wrap her arms around him again.  She held him tight as though her life depended on it.  Her chest fell when Layne pulled himself away from her, getting up from the couch.

"I'm gonna...  Um...go back to sleep," he murmured.

She knew what he was really going to do, but instead of calling him out on it, she nodded her head & humored him.  "Okay," she said.  "If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

Layne nodded, forcing another one of his phony smiles before escaping to his room.  He broke down in sobs when he fell into his bed.  His skinny body shook, preparing yet another needle & mainlining.  Curling up to his pillow, he prayed to God that Liz wouldn't worry about him anymore.  That she would just stop caring.

It would've been easier for him, if no one cared.

Still, apart of him was thankful for having such a loving sister.  She wanted to save him.  And that side of him wanted more than anything to be saved from this torment.