The Red Lion

Chapter Five

I said nothing for a few moments. "Keep your men here only as long as you need. No longer," I said bitterly.

He nodded, smiling, then exited the hall, scattering the congregation of spectators. I could feel anger rushing through my body as blood rushes through my veins. He had defeated me in my own hall and asserted himself as the dominant force.

Above all else, I hated and feared failure. Being a lord, much is expected of me. If I cannot provide for my household in the winter, defend my land in war, and maintain prosperity in peace, then I have failed my duties.

Visibly upset, I left the hall for my quarters. I feared that if I stayed in the open too long my anger would manifest outwardly.

As I imagined she would, Aileen followed me. I entered our bedroom and did not bother to close the door. After standing in the center of the room for a brief moment with my back to the entrance, I heard it shut behind me.

I kept personal documents and effects on a desk to my right. I walked to it and placed my palms on its wooden top, leaning over it. In frustration I angrily swept my hand across the desk, sending the contents flying across the room. I wanted Aileen to see my anger. I wanted her to feel it.

Knowing that I always spoke first in these situations, she abstained from it. "He knows what he did. He opened the door and I walked through it with nae so much as a thought." I breathed a heavy sigh. "He is tactful and smart. The servants will likely respect me less now."

She broke in. "Now you know that is nae true. You are still the same man yesterday as you will be tomorrow no matter what that poncy Caraid says."

A very brief smile creased my face upon her description of the hulking Wolf of Edinburgh as a poncy. And as much as I thought my anger was justified, she was right. This would all pass over soon enough.

There are times, though, when a man simply wants to be angry. He may even feign anger just to receive sentiments of understanding from others. At this moment I wanted to be angry so I would not let such an embarrassment happen in the future. I wished to be able to recall these feelings of frustration the next time I am confronted and use them as a whetstone to sharpen my tongue.

I felt Aileen place her hand on my shoulder. "You have kept Bayloroch alive amidst this war for years. There is nae a man more capable of its management than you."

My wife's counsel was much welcome and appreciated, but the feelings of frustration lingered in me still. She had calmed the flame, but the embers still burned.

"Tomorrow is the Lord's day," I said aloud. I saw Aileen's shadow cast from the fireplace behind her nod in confirmation. I touched my hand to hers. "Thank you, Aileen," I said. I rose up and embraced her tightly. The warmth of her body flowed into mine, relieving bottled frustration.

My wife and I descended the stairs together. Finan was on the other side of the hall and approached us as we entered.

"Feeling better, lord?" he asked.

"Aye. Caraid will be gone from us soon enough and then the estate will return to normal."

Finan appeared relieved. "Lord Caraid may have much, but there is still one thing you have that he cannae boast."

I raised an eyebrow.

"A loving wife, lord," he said with a smile.

I returned the smile, as did Aileen. "One day, Finan, you'll have a goodwife of your own. I ought to take you up to Edinburgh and see if there's a lass waiting for you."

He chuckled. "Perhaps someday, Lord. But not this day."

Sometimes the thought of taking Finan to the capitol entered my mind. My Irish steward had never seen the Scottish Highlands before. He is the closest friend I have, aside from my wife. It would be good for him to experience the world outside of the estate. He had told me before of Dublin and its winding stone streets and the shops that lined the roads and of other towns like Downpatrick, the port-town that Finan came to Scotland through.