I Thought I'd Love You Never

I Thought I'd Love You Never - CHAPTER 1

Kasisimula lang ng semestral break. Hindi makapaniwalang pinagmasdan ni Clarisse ang buong lugar mula sa kinatatayuan niya. It's their last semestral break before graduation. She shouldn't be here while all her friends are going to Singapore! Iniisip pa lang niya'y naiiyak na siya. What is she supposed to share when she comes back to the university? While they all brag about the places they've been to and show the stuffs they shopped, what can she say? That she stayed in the most boring place ever? Mula sa kinatatayuan niya'y wala siyang nakikita maliban sa mga burol at tila walang hanggang kakahuyan at taniman. Parang mabibingi pa siya sa katahimikan. Wala pa siyang isang oras doon ay hindi na niya gusto ang lugar. Paano siya makakatagal ng isang buwan? This is not what she planned for vacation!

Depressed na napatitig siya sa screen ng cellphone. Wala man lang signal! Padabog na ibinalik niya iyon sa bag. Akala niya'y makakakuha siya ng signal kapag lumabas siya ng mansiyon. Hindi man lang niya matawagan ang mga kaibigan niya o kahit ma-text man lang! How could she even live here? This place doesn't even know anything about civilization. From the really old and lifeless mansion, to the dusty and rocky road, to the difficult means of transportation, to the low tech form of communication, the indiferrent people, to the inedible food - everything is absolutely hateful!

Napabuga siya ng hininga sabay napapadyak sa inis. She totally hates her Dad for this. She just dated James and the next thing she knew, she was thrown at this place as a punishment. She just dated! What's wrong with dating? Her friends already have boyfriends. Besides, she's twenty-one! It is pretty normal! Oo't pinagbawalan siya nitong makipag-boyfriend hangga't nag-aaral pa siya at hindi niya ito sinuway. It was just a date. Subalit nang malaman ng Daddy niya na nakipag-date siya kay James ay basta na lang ito nagdesisyon na sa probinsiya siya magbabakasyon nang hindi man lang pinapakinggan ang paliwanag niya. Her Dad just sent her to this horrible place just because she dated! This is totally unacceptable!

But what else does she expect? Her Dad barely noticed her existence. Pinag-uukulan lang siya nito ng pansin kapag may nagawa siyang mali. Simula pagkabata'y malayo na ang loob nito sa kanya. Nang magka-isip siya'y saka niya napagtanto na siya ang sinisisi ng Daddy niya nang mamatay ang mommy niya sa panganganak sa kanya. Biglang gumuhit ang pait sa dibdib. All her life, she begged for her father's attention. She excelled in school just to make him proud and happy but he never recognized her achievements. She tried hard to be the perfect daughter just so he could love her but it never happened. Just one mistake and her Dad threw her out of the house. She could pack her things and leave but... she just loves him so much. She can't bear leaving with him angry at her. Lalong namalisbis ang luha sa mga mata niya.

Umiiyak siya dahil naiinis siya kung nasaan siya ngayon, dahil hindi niya gusto ang lahat ng taong nakikita niya, dahil hindi siya nababagay sa lugar na ito. She wanted nothing but to make her Dad happy and proud of her. And now... it seems like she had disappointed her Dad so much. And she dreaded that feeling.

Muling sumungaw ang luha niya. Umiling siya. No, she shouldn't cry. Only weak people cry!

Kumuha siya ng bato saka inihagis iyon ng malakas, umaasang matanggal lahat sama ng loob niya kasama niyon. Ganoon na lang ang pagkagulat niya nang biglang makarinig siya ng sigaw. Umurong bigla ang luha niya nang marinig na may kumakaripas ng takbo. Muntik na siyang mahagip ng rumaragasang kabayo kung hindi siya nakaiwas. Ganoon na lang ang kaba ng dibdib niya. Kasunod ng kabayo'y may lalaking tumatakbong papalapit sa kinaroroonan niya.

"Athena!" sigaw nito. Bigla itong napatigil sa pagtakbo nang makita siya. At bigla rin siyang natigilan. Her heart skipped a beat. It may be the way he walked and the way he looked at her that made her nervous. Malalim ang mga mata nitong nakatitig sa kanya, matangos ang ilong at manipis na labing tila nag-aanyaya ng... Wait, what is she thinking? Napalunok siya sa iniisip at ibinaba ang tingin. Humakab ang nagagalit na muscle sa t-shirt na suot nito na narumihan ng putik. He stared at her and she stared back. Her heart fluttered and suddenly it felt difficult to breathe. God, she can't keep her eyes off him!