2 Dead Leaves
Yoongi sat with his back flush against the couch of Jimin's house. Jimin was talking about the time they had decided to get drunk and record what happened on video. Yoongi laughed at the memory and it brought up another one he'd forgotten to ask Jimin about.
He turned his body to face his companion. "Hey, are you still with Chunghee-ah? You guys were, like, the coolest couple I'd seen in my life."
Then there was silence, silence too thick for everything to be alright. "Jimin-ah?"
"He..." Yoongi frowned. Jimin took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"He decided one day that everything was too much for him. You know his parents didn't accept it. He overdosed and..."
Jimin sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve, his back was facing Yoongi now. He had shifted to the end of the couch. Yoongi felt a lump forming in his throat. "I'm so sorry Jiminnie... Why didn't you tell me? You could have come to me."
"I..." Jimin choked on his tears. "I didn't think you would... you know... want to help..." Jimin sniffed again, "me."
Yoongi shifted forward and reached out to the boy next to him, embracing him warmly from his back. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. Jimin relaxed and his tears slowly ceased to flow. When he'd calmed down he spoke, "It's okay hyung. I miss him but... there's some things we can't change."
"I should have been there for you Jiminnie. From now on if anything is wrong, absolutely anything, you should tell me." The pure honesty in Yoongi's promise touched Jimin and he felt something stir inside. Things were threatening to come out and he didn't like it. "Do you want something to drink?" He changed the subject. "Yes actually." Yoongi loosened his grip on him.
Jimin got up and walked to the kitchen. When he got there he paused in the middle of the room and gave himself a chance to breathe. Chunghee...
Jung Changhee was an attractive young film student that had happened to go to the same arts festival that Jimin had gone to a year after getting signed to his company. After Jimin performed a short song that Yoongi had written for him, Chunghee had gone to Jimin - defying his quiet nature - and told Jimin that he had the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard. Jimin and Chunghee had felt a spark since the moment that Jimin had blushed and stuttered "Th-Thank you."
When Jimin had gone to Yoongi's house for supper that night the older boy had to listen to the ranting of his friend about his newfound interest.
The day Chunghee had confessed was the day that Yoongi had seen true happiness in his friend. Jimin was practically exploding with joy. As time went on their relationship wasn't perfect, but it was as close to perfection as any could get.
Jimin stood in the kitchen, recalling the way Chunghee looked so nervous when he confessed. How he had fiddled with his clothes the way he always did when something was bothering him. He recalled the shine in Chunghee's eyes when he'd said that he reciprocated his feelings. And he recalled the sweet kiss Chunghee had placed on his right cheek.
Jimin brought his hand to his cheek and it was like he almost like he could feel it again. Chunghee had loved him...
He snapped out of his trance and started preparing drinks for him and his friend. While stirring the liquid he made a mental note to find a picture of his ex-boyfriend later on when Yoongi had left.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jimin lay on his back. The carpet of his bedroom floor did little to keep away the cold of the night, though the light of the lamp had a warm effect. He stared at the photograph in his hands, not bothering about anything at all but the face in the picture. It saddened him that he had almost forgotten Chunghee's face – The dimplethat was barely noticeable, but definitely there, the spot under his right eye and the slight upturn of his nose. It was easy to let the details slip away just like Chunghee's life had – like a dead leaf carried away by an Autumn breeze.
He stared at the smile on his ex-boyfriends face; still finding beauty in the way his lips curved and the straight teeth were on full display. The smile was a genuine one.
Chunghee had a hard life; he had once told Jimin that he was the only thing keeping him from being depressed.
Right through his last days Chunghee had kept up the façade that he would go on living no matter what. Jimin didn't blame him for doing what he did; he blamed himself for not noticing something was wrong.
Jimin lowered the picture to his chest, still holding on to the edges. He remembered very clearly the last conversation he had with Chunghee, though at the time he didn't know it was his last. Chunghee did, that was something he had realised that when it was too late.
" - "Minnie?"
"Yeah?"
"You know I love you right?"
"Of course I do."
"No matter what happens, just know that I really do love you."
"I love you too Jagi~"
"I want you become a great singer Minnie. You will make it big if you try, I believe in you." - "
Jimin felt a pain in his chest. Why didn't he realise that there was a different tone in their conversation? Tears pricked at his eyes. He hadn't even taken Chunghee's advice. He's still at the same small-scale company, only known to a few. He's still singing, but now he sings just to make a living. He no longer sings like he used to and he knows it.
At least he has Yoongi to count on again. He tried to console himself with that thought as he felt the sadness spreading further than his chest.
The pain was too much for him to hold back and he rolled over onto his side. Sobs wracked his body. He let the tears flow because there was nothing else he could do. He didn't know how to stop the sadness when it took over his mind. Before he even realised that he had done it he felt stinging on his left arm. The sting distracted him from the pain he felt inside. The second time he'd cried that day. He was going to get a nasty headache.
Jimin took shaky breaths. Nobody was going to find out. Scratches didn't leave noticeable marks. Nobody was going to know how much he failed himself.
