Eyes

Lost

"YOU FUNKING WASTE OF SPACE!" My dad screamed at me as he continued to pull my hair whist punching my stomach.

I screamed out in pain as I felt blood running down my face from where he had just thrown my head against the wall in anger.

"YOU THINK YOUR BETTER THAN ME, DON'T YOU?!" I was in the corner like a ball like form trying to calm the pain down.

"No" my weak voice was no louder than a weak whisper. My throat felt sore and At this point I knew that I just had to let him get his anger out on me so that I can go and rest quicker.

With that though he spat on my weak frame and kicked my back before walking away.

It was only a few seconds later when I heard the door slam shut indicating that he had left.

I immediately got up off the floor and wiped my tears violently away and I don't want to cry over that perfetic excuse of a father.

I began clearing up the broken glass from a beer bottle he threw at my head. I then stated clearing up my cuts before getting in the shower to clean myself.

As I stepped into the warm shower I began to think about how this water is ironically the only warmth I have in my life.

I bet your probably really confused right now? So let's start with what just happened...

Ever since my mum left which was when I was 9 years old my dad started beating me. He believe it's my fault that mum left so he said that my beatings are my punishment.

We used to be such a happy family, a perfect one in fact, but when mum left, she left me behind.

At first it was just the occasional slap here an there but after a few week it turned into being daily and then he became more aggressive as his drinking got worse. I was only 10 when he broke my first bone. Before that he had never gone so far as to brake a bone but seeing him that day made me see that my dad wasn't there anymore. I could no longer see my dad in his eyes anymore, he was simply a stranger to me.

As the years went on he "upped his game" as he put it. He started using his belt and glass bottles and even knifes. He was determined to take any anger he had out on me and he wouldn't stop.

About a month ago he went as far to put me in a coma in which I only came out of 8 days ago. The hospital kept asking what happened as to why I was in there but I knew that if I told the truth he would make sure I was dead with no doubt.

I bet your wondering why I stay with him, right? Well truth is that well firstly I'm only 17 and secondly he is my dad still and as much as I can't stand the abuse I just can't leave him. He was the one who stayed. I know deep down somewhere in that black heart of his he loves me and I would still like to think that it pains him every time he beats me even if it's only a small pain.

My mum left as I said when I was 9 and at first she didn't want contact but after 4 years she made contact expressing how she was sorry and that I can come live with her and her rich husband. I couldn't believe her when I got that call as she honestly thought I would go with her when she left me. She left me and that was her choice. I didn't tell her about the abuse and I'm still not planning on because if she wanted to be apart of my life then she would have stayed.

She calls me from time to time still but I just ignore them.

Last I heard she was having a baby with her multi-billionaire husband and living life like a queen.

I however as you can tell I'm living a life the complete opposite.