Nox (The Marauders, Wolfstar, Jily)

10: shit gets a bit gay

For the past week, ever since Remus had finally managed to come out to him, Sirius had found himself asking random questions relating to homoseuxality at the most inappropriate of times. Really, he couldn't help himself for being curious, you know, just about his best friend and how things were for him, and well, what it was like to be a bit gay.

These questions were all of course, purely hypothetical on Sirius' part, and really, it was fine, Remus didn't mind answering the majority of them - some of them did get a little too personal - he was not going to describe the attractive features of a cock in great detail to Sirius Black. It was just the incredibly awkward timing they always came at, and Sirius had sworn that he wasn't doing it on purpose, he was just asking them as they came to mind, and there was nothing wrong with that, well, until your really rather attractive best friend was asking you if you were a top or a bottom on the way to Herbology... where people could hear.

Remus' eyes widened in shock, at first having not believed that Sirius would just casually ask something like that, but then again, over the past week, Remus had really confirmed his belief in the fact that Sirius Black, in fact, did not possess any kind of boundaries or common sense, but then again, Remus felt like that was something that he really already knew.

"Sirius!" He shrieked, looking around, praying that no one had heard him, and finding that thankfully, no one seemed to have even so much as looked up.

"What?" Sirius let out a laugh in response, holding Remus' gaze for a moment. "It's a perfectly reasonable question, isn't it? I mean, you even encouraged me to be open and ask things - you said that'd make it easier and more natural."

"For one!" Remus raised his voice slightly, finding himself in utter disbelief, because as much as he really didn't want anyone around them to hear, it was largely just the fact that discussing whether you topped or bottomed with a really attractive guy, who also happened to be one of your closest friends since you were literally eleven years old, was just really rather awkward. "The way to fucking Herbology is not the best place to have this kind of conversation at all. And on top of that, this is absolutely not the kind of conversation I want to have ever."

"Why not?" Sirius seemed to look genuinely disheartened, and honestly, Remus just didn't know what to think about that, because there was just the air of something slightly less than heterosexual in all of this, but Remus definitely did not want to get his hopes up - after all, Sirius was just a naturally curious person with very little regard for people's personal space and privacy.

"Because it's kind of a private thing, you know?" Remus couldn't quite believe he was actually having to explain this, but then again, this was Sirius Black. "Like, would you ask James for a graphic description of how he'd fuck Lily in public?"

Sirius snorted, and shook his head, "I wouldn't have to ask - he'd willingly tell me, come on, you know that? He'd climb the stands of the quidditch pitch and scream it from them, do you even know the guy?"

Remus rolled his eyes, taking a moment to think of another example, but then came to conclude that they really didn't have any normal friends. "Okay, well, James Potter is not a normal person, let's just say that? I mean, who asks one girl out twenty seven times in a week?"

"He's dedicated." Sirius insisted, a grin falling over his lips as he came to recall that one week in second year when James had been particularly persistent: accompanied by the logic that eventually she just had to give up and say yes, even if it was only to stop him asking.

That 'hell' had only come to an end when Remus had looked James dead in the eyes and told him that the definition of insanity was exactly doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, which had caused him to stop for a little bit, but he'd ended up ambushing Lily a few days later, but before he could even open his mouth, Lily had kicked him right in the balls, and as much as Sirius did love James, there was a part of him that would give anything to have been there to witness what he would easily refer to as the eighth wonder of the world. It was only then that James had actually decided that it would be better if he calmed down for a while.