Secrets in Plain Sight {Kylo Ren x OC}

IV - Don't you dare leave me

"Okay, so, I might have kind of did a dumb thing and.. Oww, shit!" I grabbed at my sandy hair and hunched over. My head felt like it was being kicked by a tauntaun, but why?! I didn't eat anything poisonous, so...

"Hi, Commander Ren... I didn't know these were your quarters. I'm very sorry, I'll clean it up immediately, again, sir, I'm so sorry," I muttered, crouching and picking up the silverware- forks first, then spoons, then the.. Knives.

What if he gets mad at me because of this? I could be fired. Executed. Or worse, I could be demoted to a janitor. My precious tablet... My chair... My work... Years of practice, wasted. It's not like the practice did any good, though. It was a waste of money. I'm a waste of money. Come to think of it, a waste of space, of resources. Here, I can make this knife more useful than I've been. It'll do the best thing ever. Hux will finally have me out of his perfect hair. Phasma won't have to worry about me bugging her troopers with my jokes.

I stared at the knife for a second longer and then...

[[WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM AHEAD]]

With a swift movement, I drove the blade into my arm, tears streaming down my face. I was silent, though, aside from the blood dripping onto the flooring. And my breathing. It feels so good, how warm my blood is. Human after all, right? It's such a nice shade of red, kind of like some of those stars I look at before bed. Maybe I'll become a star once I leave this body, that'd be nice.

My vision started to blur, more than with tears, and tiny black spots scattered across the room. With my last bit of consciousness, I can do better. I drove the knife into my arm again... Not? It looks like Lord Ren grabbed my right arm. What a shame. He's just making his own job harder. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with my bullshit anymore. None of them do, not even Hux. Oh, bless the man, he's been putting up with me since I was 15. Why isn't Lord Ren letting me fix all these problems?

A sob, a choked one, at that. I weakly turned my head to the side to see he source. Is Lord Ren crying? Why? The death of a stupid, immature design artist won't matter to him. Alyse or Steve can take over for me. It's not like I'll be missed. Maybe by Mar...

Marlene

I jolted up, frightened, and accidentally bumped (read: smashed) into Lord Ren's lips. Almost instantly, his liquidy eyes gazed into mine, and for what seemed like hours, we stayed like that. Lips pressed together, breathing heavily through our noses, eyes locked by a lock with no feasible key. Then, he pulled away, face seemingly burning hot red. He picked me up (read: bridal-style carried) me to the floor of what was like a living room, and rushed into what I can only assume to be the restroom.

Seconds later, he pushed through the door with a first aid kit in hand, black cat plush in the other.

"Hold this," he said pushing the cat plush into my not-bloody hand. It was soft, and I squeezed it.

"I'm going to warn you, this may hurt," Ren said, holding up my arm and wrapping gauze around it, snugly, after applying... Something, probably to keep it from infection. It didn't really hurt, just felt like those things in the med bay that they put around your upper arm.

"...thanks," I finally managed after what could quite possibly be the most awkward silence ever.

"It's my pleasure, Cecil," Lord Ren sighed, shaking his head.

"Don't you dare leave me. I care too much," he said, tossing his arms around me in an embrace. Silent sobs wracked his broad body, and though he'd never admit it, I felt speckles of tears on my back.

"I'm sorry, Lord R-"

"Call me Ren," he said after a hollow laugh.

"Alright, um, I'm sorry, Ren. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Unless, that, uh helps with the dark side, or something. I really don't know about force stuff, sorry," I whispered, hugging him back, and patting gently.

"It's alright, Cecil, I don't expect you to, you're not force-sensitive," Ren murmured, pulling back and staring at me. With a tilt of his (perfect) face, "You're rather cute, you know?"

"Uh, n-not in my opinion. I'm kind of the ugliest person in the entire graphics department. If you want cute, look at Camille," I grinned, thinking back on the time I had spent a day with her, talking about history. She seemed to love the tales of the Skywalker family. Honestly though, it seems like that whole family just needs to chill.

"They are quite dramatic, I won't argue that. But... You," he focused on my face a bit more,"You liked her, didn't you?" He sighed and chuckled. Aww. Puppy.

"We, um, we went out to the cafeteria once, but uh, nothing more. I still think she's cute, though," I stumbled on the first few words, damn my soul.

"I agree. Somewhat. She's not unattractive, but he reminds me too much of General Hux's sister, MarMar," Ren laughed as he mentioned Hux. Hm..

"Have you ever, yknow, dated Hux?" I inquired, rather sheepishly. Ren looked slightly taken aback, but aside from that, showed no negative reaction.

"Yes, actually. It was so long ago, I can barely remember details, though. He had dated me for just a few weeks, but they were nice," his eyes softened, slightly, and a bolt of jealousy struck my veins. I can't tell why, though. It's his choice to date whomever he'd like.

"Actually, on the topic of dating... I.." I could barely choke my words out. Yeesh.

"Hm?"

"Will you, um, be my boyfriend? It's perfectly fine if you're not interested, but you know, it'd be cool if you were.."