unsettled

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I don't know what you want from me
what more you could possibly claim was
my fault

I thought it was best
For you
For me
And it was.

I don't know how else you could possibly
take advantage of me
what more you could do to confuse me

Hours and hours I spent
I cried
I pleaded
You wouldn't listen

I was never good enough
never pretty
or smart
or talented
or caring enough
for you

Leaving means forgetting, but I will never forget
The story is embedded
On my wrists
My thighs
Scars, reminders, they will always be there

I don't know what more you want me to
say to you
what apology you are expecting

Living that way, it's not living
The guilt
So much guilt
Is still on my shoulders
I don't expect it to ever be lifted

When you
Precious you
Came into my life
I was naive and unsuspecting

I never thought I'd be left unsettled
And sick
Or even slightly dazed
If you left

I cared
I really did
But you didn't care about me

I was a puzzle you wanted to solve
I was a piece you used in a game
And for that I'll never forgive you

I hope that you're happy
I hope that you're well
I hope that black dog has gone away for good
I hope your friends are still taking care of you
I hope that you found a new girl
One to move on with

Though there were bruises and cuts and burns
Some lessons were received from you.
To sometimes give up
But never cave in  
And that if something feels wrong
It most certainly is


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