Moth Among Butterflies

CHAPTER VI

Today was the day. Emma would finally tell Philip how she feels. It has already been thirteen years since she harboured such deep regard for their stable hand, and she was sure he felt the same as her. There were several times when his eyes lit up when her presence is about and times when he takes extreme measures for her care like keeping her company as she rode a horse even when she was old enough to ride alone. And when he helped her unmount a horse once and their gazed locked...oh! If only Esther did not arrive at such an hour, they could have kissed!

"Good morning, Philip." she greeted, more coldly than she meant to. She should not make her heart known now. There is time later. Maybe.

"Good morning, my lady." Philip bowed, his light brown eyes twinkling in the sunlight that entered the stables. Emma fought the urge to make a muddle of his curly hair.

"Oh please! 'My lady'? We are nothing but alone."

Philip chuckled, and Emma noticed that his beared had grown again. It suited him really well. Unlike her pinkest of the pinks suitors who shaved clean, she preferred Philip like this. It separates him from them.

"Have you seen Esther? She wasn't in her chambers when I sought her." she inquired.

"Oh, I took her to town at seven thirty. She told me of a meeting with someone."

"I know that she loves these excursions to town, but isn't that a little earlier than usual?"

"I know! I have not seen this person yet, but she has been meeting whoever this is for almost a week now."

"I do hope she remembers Papa's arrival tomorrow. If these escapdes were discovered by him, who knows what would become of our dear Esther! Oh, he is so unkind!"

"You are right, Emma." he agreed. The earl is indeed very unkind. Towards Emma...towards Esther...

"Do you think she has a lover, Philip?"

"I don't think so. I could not imagine her being in love. I've never entertained the idea, you see."

"Are you saying Esther is plain?!" Emma inquired with angry twisted brows.

"Of course not! She is a beauty! It's just hard to imagine a man taking her away from us. She is a beloved sister to me."

"What about me?" she asked. It's now or never. She wanted to know!

Philip halted brushing the horse's hair. He stared at her in a startled manner before resuming his task. "You are both beloved sisters to me. We are like family."

"Family." she echoed in a mumble. Maybe her desuctions on his emotions wete wrong after all? He looked like he was not lying.

"Emma?"

"Yes?!" she said, louder than necessary. But before another word was uttered from her mouth, Philip's hand was on her forehead! He was checking her temparature!

"You suddenly looked wan. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Let's get you inside. Maybe the air today isn't agreeable to your body."

"Philip." She reached for his forhead and kissed it. Philip's eyes were wide in an emotion she could not read. His eyes wondered to her lips, but he closed it immediately. What was he thinking? "Are we really just family, Philip?"

"Let's get you inside, hm?"

"You did not ans-"

"Emma," he started "The answer does not matter! Either way I would still be a stable hand who has no money nor propects to make a future for you. You are an earl's daughter. You deserve better. This is nothing but calf-love!"

Emma heard all the things she never wanted to hear from his mouth. Calf-love? Angry tears came rolling down her pale cheeks as she stormed towards the exit. "Thirteen years is not calf-love, Philip." she said before leaving completlely.

"Thirteen years..." Philip echoed, covering his face with both his hands as he sat down the hay flooring. Thirteen years...thirteen years... What can he do? There was no happiness in this mutual understanding, for he knew that if this reagrd was persued, they might end up running away. That would ruin Emma's reputation! And if they do become lovers secretly, what conclusion is in it then? And when the earl finds out, who knows what he may do to her! Detaching the reigns of one horse, Philip rode it under the morning sky in hopes of appeasing his stormy heart.