A Study in Introspection

Chapter Three

The Mind Expansion Phase

Finding the fun house, as they called it, was harder than finding the whore spot, as he called it. They had made a great effort to keep it hidden, to be safe from the police. In Retrospect it would have been better if they had gotten caught.

It was dirty, verily, a safe haven for viruses, infections and stds. He never knew whether the person next to him was unconscious on a trip or dead and most of the time he himself was too high to be able to check on it.

Needles were shared, condoms used and reused, blunts passed on from one unwashed mouth to the other to the other to the other.

He was also convinced that in these 24 days he had more Sex, indeed, than during his disposal phase.

The first few days passed without his notice, it was only on the seventh day that he ate something. Afterwards he managed to keep track of the days passing. Ending this phase was very challenging, without a doubt, a constant battle in between his body, mind, psyche and intellect. The world was a simpler place with his brain clouded.

He returned to his place with difficulties, got lost and had to endure the piercing looks of the passers-by.

Once he reached his flat he immersed himself into the other world of his memories.

1st day

I feel as though I have awoken from a wild, vivid and everlasting dream, hungry and thirsty. Finding food in here is more difficult than finding the medicine. Then on the other hand, most people don't come here to stay. I had to pay a fee of a hundred euros and whoever runs this cloud must be earning a lot of money, given the amount of people coming and going each day.

This place feels like a zoo. It smells and everyone's intellect is reduced to a minimum because the fog drains the mind. You constantly hear screaming and yelling. Orgasms and bad trips and ecstatic ones all mixed up. Privacy is non-existent. Then again, privacy is but an illusion. I had to pay for the food. I'm tired I'll sleep now. There are no beds. Just dirty, stained blankets and pillows, covered in dried alcohol, vomit, spit, sweat, tears and cum. I lifted the coat of silence and shame covering the topic of Sex and found a dirty monster. Raw and animalistic, while at the same time natural and innocent. Naive, even. I'm so tired. I can't remember my trip. When I look back on it, all I see are excruciatingly bright colours and the feeling of floating. What a nice sensation. I want to go back to it. Not today, though.

2nd day

I                high                something?

      Am                    on

I don't know what they gave me but it's good fantastic great I'm I can't think everything is soft and safe and I feel so warm I want to scream. A man I don't know is sleeping on me. I feel very close to everyone. I want to kiss everyone. I... .... I ... ... oh the man just moved. I have to be more still or else I will wake him up. He looks very beautiful while asleep I mustn't wake him up. Maybe he'll turn into an atrocious monster once he opens his eyes. I

I

I have never felt more at peace with everything. But the everything is limitless, therefore that must mean

That every human's

Capability of     feeling    satisfaction

Must be

Limitless

??

3rd day

I just woke up, my lower half naked and covered in a dried something.