Thomara One Shot!! Para sa lahat ng kumakapit pa, this one's for you guys 💪🏻💓
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Summer before college when we first met and I must admit she made me really happy.
Being with her, I always felt like I was on cloud 9 if that even existed. But time flies so fast. You can't really change fate.
I was too close to the puzzle, I did'nt notice the bigger picture I was creating. I loved holding on to the spotlight too much, you were already letting go.
It was the peak of my career and I can't let anything distract me. Because during that season we were very determined to bounce back and that was the reason why our team needed to focus.
I made sure I had time for everything especially for academics and family. Not forgetting, my Ara.
But where did I even go wrong? I tried so hard to balance everything pero parang wala rin nangyari I lost her, I lost my everything.
Up until now, 3 years had passed and I can still remember how it happened...
*FLASHBACK*
I was on my way to the park where me and Ara would usually meet. Sabi niya she wanted to talk about something very important kaya naman kahit pagod ako sa training since malapit na talaga ang season pumunta parin ako.
She was sitting on the bench and was fidgeting with her fingers. I know her too well already kaya alam ko, may problema.
I nervously approached her and she looked at me for a second then tapped the space next to her, motioning for me to sit down.
We were both quiet and the noise you could only here were the cars passing by and the insects. I waited for her to speak up kasi she was the one who asked if pwede ba kami mag meet.
"T-Thomas... didiretsuhin na kita kasi ang hirap para sakin sabihin to eh pero kasi pagod na ko, sobra." Napatingin ako sakanya but she still kept her head low.
"I'm tired too Ara because of training diba hehehe." I said but I guess I know where this is heading to.
"Alam mong hindi ganong pagod ang tinutukoy ko dito Thom and that's why... I'm breaking up with you." And just like that she dropped the bomb.
"Come on now what did I do wrong this time Ara? Bakit?"
"You did nothing wrong naman eh."
"Wala naman pala eh but why are you breaking up with me?!" I was already frustrated and I tried to keep calm but I just couldn't.
"That's my point Thomas wala kang ginagawa sa relasyon natin and I'm so tired. Pinipilit naman kitang intindihin pero maybe I should give time for myself na din."
Why does she sound like she's not even hurting? Ako lang ba talaga ang nasasaktan dito?
Tears were starting to form in my eyes and I couldn't help it. I can't afford to lose her, she's my everything.
"Ara wag mo naman gawin yan, I promise babawi ako sayo. Wag mo lang akong iwan hindi ko talaga kayang mawala ka. Please stay, don't leave me like this not now. " I was already facing her and fuck it really hurts to see her cry like this.
She looked at me as tears were streaming down her beautiful face.
"Alam mo Thom, sobrang nakakapagod rin pala na ikaw na lang yung may pake at mas lalong nakakapagod na you give time and importance to someone who you think is no longer worth fighting for. Akala ko kasi na if I won't let you go makakabawi ka rin sakin at some point, but I was wrong it will worsen the situation lang pala. Hindi rin naman kasi pwede na ako lang yung laging nahihirapan sa relasyon na to. Kaya baka siguro mas mabuti nga kung papakawalan na lang kita kasi ang gusto ko lang naman is yung sumaya ka even if it means i'll lose the one who makes me happy too and alam mong ikaw ang kasiyahan ko. Hindi ko naisip na what makes me happy, can also be the reason to make me feel the opposite and more worse. It's not always you Thomas, I was also in the peak of my career sana man lang naintindihan mo din yun, I was so devastated already kasi hirap na hirap na ko pag sabayin ang acads with volleyball kasi I was a DL pero I still made time for you diba? Andun na ako sa taas eh, I was so close to reaching my goals and I needed to go down para sayo kasi gusto ko kasama ka sa pag abot ko ng dreams and goals ko. Natutunan ko siya dun sa mas mahirap na way pero I guess it's better para alam kong hindi na yun mauulit. Sabi nga nila diba pano ka matututo kung di ka kag kakamali. Pero sana ngayon isama mo rin naman ako sa dreams and goals mo oh, kasi ako lahat plinano ko na magkasama tayo... nawala na lahat ng plano natin for the both of us eh. Kahit konti lang kahit isingit mo na lang ako dyan okay na ko eh. It's funny no how dati we used to talk about our future, how our life would turn out together. But I guess we should go on our separate ways na." That hit me straight right in the heart.
I was left speechless, because she was right. At ang tanga tanga ko talaga para hindi man lang yon marealize. I'm so selfish and stubborn to think na hindi ko alam nasasaktan ko na pala ang pinaka importanteng babae sa buhay ko.
Before i could speak, naunahan nanaman niya ko.
"Tama nga ata sila dapat siguro i chose Bang over you."
"Ara wag ka namang ganyan, please don't say that."
"Siguro im happier and you're happier din ngayon kung di na lang kita pinili. Sana hindi na lang ako nasasaktan ng ganito haha. But honestly thank you for 4 years, it was one hell of a roller coaster ride, our relationship had ups and downs but like all roller coasters this needs to end. I hope you'll be happier and sana you reach your goals. Alam mong andito parin ako para sayo kahit ano mangyari diba? Kaya nako dapat magawa mo talaga lahat ng gusto mong gawin kasi ako mismo babatok sayo. Sayang lahat ng pinag hirapan ko!" I know she's trying to lighten up the atmosphere, typical Ara.
She'll always be the Ara I know, and that's why I fell for her.
"Kahit labag sa kalooban ko to, siguro nga mas makakabuti para satin to. Thank you Ara for everything, thank you even if it means na I'll lose you. Please remember na I'll always love you and di ka mawawalan ng pwesto sa puso ko."
"Good bye Thom and for the last time, I love you too."
She stood up and walked away. I was left there sitting down like a piece of shit thinking about all the mistakes I've done.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
3 years had already passed and what can I say, it's still her. Sabi ko nga sakanya hindi siya mawawalan ng pwesto sa puso kong tanga at walang kwenta.
She made me feel like I was Superman and she was my kryptonite, she made me feel weak. But i was wrong because she was Batman and that's when I knew we were'nt meant to be.
Letting Victonara go will always be the biggest regret I've done in my life.
But maybe in another life, I know I'd make her stay. Because she was the one who got away and I was the one who lost my way.
