No More Pain

Chapter 13: The Cave

Author's Note: So with this chapter I am attempting to depict the confusion of a man who has just become aware of himself and his feelings. I don't know what it is like to go through detox after 70 years of mind numbing, brainwashing chemicals, steroids, uppers and downers,..... but I do know what it is like to trip on Acid and Mushrooms and while I like it, I can imagine the lack of cohesive thought and muscle coordination for a trained Soldier might be very alarming and disconcerting. Also in college in Physiological Psychology my Professor said one of the many things LSD did to a person's brain was it raised up the inhibitors that blocked the receptors that released certain neurological chemicals that flowed in a person's brain during REM sleep which was why tripping kind of feels like dreaming. Since the Winter Soldier was chemically kept from dreaming during Cryo, the build up of those chemicals has now flooded his mind resulting in the tripping sensation. When on these kind of drugs your emotions are strong and at times overwhelming and simple things can be difficult to understand or frightening. I don't know if I was able to describe any of this accurately but here goes.

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MUMFORD & SONS

"The Cave"

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

'Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

'Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Steve was alone in the lab as he sat next to Bucky holding his flesh hand. Banner had disconnected the IV's administering the sedatives and had exited. It had been discussed and decided that Bucky would be introduced to each Avenger one at a time so as not to overwhelm him or create a combative situation. For that reason Natasha would be the last one he would meet, the others there to prevent The Soldier from his possible aggression toward her.

Steve looked up with a confused expression as tranquil music began to play over the speaker system, an easy, melodic jazz that Steve instantly recognized and smirked.

"It was my idea but Natasha chose the music!" He heard Tony's voice over the speaker with the music.

"Thanks guys!" Steve chuckled. He heard muttering over the intercom and could picture all five of them somewhere in the tower watching him and Bucky. He would feel annoyed at the intrusiveness of it but after the past twenty-four hours it didn't seem like a big deal and was actually kind of understandable.