If I Die Young

I'm done with life.

I've almost slid the first blade I found in my garage to my wrist.

I've almost choked myself with a cable long ago.

I've almost adulterated my self with a bane.

I've almost stabbed my chest with a cutter.

I've almost killed myself.

I've almost done it.

But I can't.

I can't because I'm scared.

I'm scared because I'll regret.

I'll regret because this is not the best answer.

I can't.

But I want to.

I want to be with my friends.

I want to be with my family.

I want to be with myself.

I want to be in heaven.

I want to die.

But I just can't.

I lose them all.

I'm all alone in this world.

In this reality.

I want to come after them and smack their heads.

I want them to know that we are still one whole group.

And that I can't be without them.

Why does it have to be me left...

Why can't I go after them.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared when I saw all their faces. 

Pale.

Lifeless.

Sad.

Contented.

Upset.

I'm scared when I saw them all one by one losing their hold on to hope.

I'm scared when they left me.

I don't know how it started and went on this far but I'm pretty sure with one thing.

It started with one person.

One person whom I love the most.

One person who I spent most of my time the most.

One person who I never expected was the first one to leave us.

One person that I trusted to be with me for the rest of my life.

That one person who started it all.

It all started with .....

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Jin.

[Hello guys. Now I've decided that I'll really continue and finish this book. This is just a short series so I'm sure I can do this.]