INARTICULATE WITH UNCERTAINTY

f i f t e e n

one more day and it's your birthday

i told you,

"we need to talk"

you asked worriedly,

"what, did i do something wrong?"

"hmm, guess."

"you're scaring me."

"i know, you should be." I smile ruefully as i confuse you, it is cute to do so because you're just adorable to baffle.

"come on, give me a clue."

I hesitated for a moment because i'm aware of your charm and intelligence.

All because i witnessed it, i am at the moment attracted to you; to your charm and intelligence.

"It's something sad, you might be happy about it, though, and you wouldn't be able to go back to it"

"age"

I rolled my eyes, of course.

"you got me. Happy birthday!"

"hahaha you scared me there. But thank you, i really appreciate it, you're so sweet."

"I wish i could celebrate it with you, though. How would you celebrate it?"

"i don't, they don't even greet me. They don't remember or simply care."

It made me feel s p e c i a l at the moment but it made me sad and angry to know your own parents does.

"how about your lover?"

"we fought and she doesn't even remember."

*cue the happy dance then the pang of guilt and realization hits*

"i'm so sorry"

"it's fine"

I hope you'd add, "I have you."

But it's kind of obvious that i'm the only one who cares enough

So that is enough.

We talked about on how we're supposed to celebrate your birthday and the thought made my stomach churn.