TF2 One Shots (Requests Closed)

Pillow Fight (Merasmus x Reader)

Requested by @bluzombiemedic who wanted the reader to be a soldier. I hope it's alright for you!

A raccoon had already commandeered one of the pillows on the bed, but that didn't stop you from flopping down anyway, exhausted from mercenary work. But this was home now, and home always relieved some of the tension like a cool breeze on a hot day.

About a month ago, some enemy pyro had managed to get into the team's base, strip the fireproof coating from the walls, and burn the whole thing to the ground while everyone was asleep. That was a lot of trips through respawn.

Mann Co. was going to build another base of course, but until then the team didn't have anywhere to sleep. Everyone was ordered to find somewhere to stay for a few months until it was completed. You would've used some of the money you earned from being a mercenary to rent a nice, relaxing condo near the seaside, but the show (war) must go on. You were required to drive into Teufort each morning to continue the fight and there were no beaches within driving distance. You also didn't have any family in the area, so you turned to the internet to find someone close by interested in being roommates. Someone strange enough that they would be able to ignore your job of firing rockets at people. An ancient wizard in an ancient castle certainly fit that criteria. All you needed to do was pay up once a week (apparently he needed money for building some carnival) and keep the place neat. So you answered the Craigslist ad and moved in.

You were just about to fall asleep in the room you'd been given when-

"Merasmus!"

He always said his name when he teleported. And teleporting into your room gave a whole meaning to the whole forgetting to knock thing.

You groaned. "What is it, Mer? I was trying to sleep."

"Spring cleaning!" He said. "This place is a mess. Look, we even have raccoons!" He said, pointing to the one on your bed.

In response, you rolled your eyes. "They're not hurting anyone. And they're so cute!"

"Well at least clean up after them," he said. "Or train them to use the litter box. But you're paying rent, so you have to help clean."

"I promise, I'll do it tomorrow," you groaned and rolled over, covering your head with the pillow.

"Now," Merasmus wined, pulling the blanket off of you. You yelped at the sudden cold and curled up before taking your helmet (you only took it off to shower and sleep) and slapping it on. "Merasmus I'll clean up this room now and do the rest tomorrow," you promised.

"Yeah right," the wizard scoffed. "Merasmus wants his castle cleaned today!"

"Go away, Merasmus," you said, smacking him with the pillow. The wizard's eyes widened and he grabbed it, smacking you as well. Both of you laughed and you took another pillow and got up, wacking him hard on the back.

"Stop that!" Merasmus said in between his laughs. "Merasmus demands that you-" he cut off then hit you again over the helmet. Before you could react, he teleported away. Probably downstairs.

"Merasmus you get your wizard ass back here!" You yelled after your roommate, running down the stairs with a pillow. You noticed him around the corner and rushed forward, giving him a nice hit on his side. He hit you back and the pillow fight continued, with you guys laughing and chasing each other, getting the raccoons all riled up. The wizard summoned several pillows out of thin air, causing them to fall and cover you. While you were trying to get out, he ran over and began smacking you repeatedly with his pillow.

"Oh ow oh god enough," you growled playfully. He got away from you and laughed. "Help clean up now."

You briefly considered kicking him in the balls. But that'd be too over the top. Still, you wanted to do something to distract the wizard so you could go run and hang out with your raccoons rather than clean up his crazy castle. A few ideas floated through your head, but one stood out.

No. That'd be ridiculous. Still...

You got up and headed over to Merasmus who raised an eyebrow. "What are you-"

You kissed him. You kissed your roommate. Right on the lips. He was a lot taller than you and the helmet made it kinda awkward but fuck it. You kissed him anyway and wrapped your arms around his waist. You don't even know why you did it. It was some crazy impulse born from a crush you'd kept hidden...

But then you ran. Laughing, you headed out the door and for the nearby tree house, knowing the wizard would admit the same as soon as he caught up with you.