Fixing You (Broken)

Chapter 1

He held me tight to him and nuzzled his head in my neck. I wrapped my arms tighter around him.    

"We should probably go." he muttered    

"Go?" I asked    

"Yeah." he said and abruptly stood up.    

I got up and was going to move away from him when he pulled me back to him trapping me with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

I looked up at him and he looked down at me with a weird smile plastered on his face. He looked almost vicious. But in that moment I couldn't see it. All I saw was this angel of a man standing before me and I felt loved, appreciated but strangely empty. There was a part of me that felt like crying and I didn't know why.    

"So this is it then?" I asked him hoping he would say otherwise.    

"Yeah I mean, you didn't really think I'd want to be in a relationship with you right?" he said with a smirk.    

I froze and my breath caught in my throat. The urge to breakdown and cry right here on the sidewalk hit me like a wall but I held it back, barely. I started to shiver. I could practically see my heart breaking.    

No, not again. I thought it would be different this time. This was supposed to be my happy ending.    

He pulled me to him and hugged me for longer than necessary as I slowly hugged him back closing my eyes tight to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks.

When he finally let me go, I turned around and started making my way back home. I could feel the eyes of the people who had witnessed our moment burning a hole in my back as I made the walk of shame back to my house.

I kept my head down and walked as fast as I could.  

"Hey Camrylia!" he called to me. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around and found him looking at me with a mischievous smirk on his face. Oh no.    

"If you ever want to, you know...do anything or try anything...apart from sex of course, ring me up aite?" he said with a laugh then turned around and walked away.      

When I finally reached home, I slowly walked up the stairs in a daze trying to hold back the impending breakdown. I needed to at least make it to the safety of my room before I let the walls crumble.    

"And she finally has a date! My little baby is all grown up! Sooooo, how did it go?!" my sister Callie asked me using her overly-dramatic voice, reminding me of the movie, White Chicks.    

Any other time, I would have burst out laughing and replied her with a ludicrous comment but I didn't feel like it, heck I didn't feel like myself. I felt lost. Like I knew that I was there but I was lost in the silence of my mind. It felt like my heart had decided to freeze and my brain was too tired and was having a hard time taking it all in.    

I sighed and looked up at my sister. She looked beautiful with her long brown hair cascading down her back in soft waves. Her soft olive skin shone under the light and her brownish-black eyes twinkled in excitement. Her dimples especially prominent as she gave me a wide smile.    

"Um Callie, i'll..i'll tell you about it tomorrow. I'm really tired and its really late. I really need to get to bed." I said plastering a fake smile onto my face and hoping it would convince her that i'm fine and there really wasn't anything wrong.    

Her face fell and her smile turned into a frown. I instantly felt guilty. I should have just stayed and made up a happy story. No, that would have only made things worse. Why pretend that things are fine when God knows they're not?    

"Yeah, sure." she muttered staring at me with a confused frown marring the V of her forehead. I attempted a smile that came out more like a grimace and slowly walked to my room.

Just before I could close my door to the world and revel in the solace of my room, my sister called out to me with a hand on my door as I stood behind it willing the tears to stay in for a few more seconds before spilling out.    

"Camryl....Cam?" she whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut but a traitor tear managed to slip out.    

"Oh gosh, Cam. Not again.." she whispered in pain and I fell to the ground sobbing.    

The next thing I knew I felt warm arms wrap around me in a tight hug as I sobbed my heart out. I was done. It was over. I was broken beyond repair and I had no idea how I was going to piece myself back together again. I was too tired. I was done.