Fixing You (Broken)

Chapter 2 (cont.)

By the time I walked out of the bathroom, a half hour had already passed and my eyes were partially swollen. Depression tugged at my insides like an anchor but I gritted my teeth, fisted my fingers, squeezed my eyes shut and pushed it all the way down. I needed to do this and I needed to be strong. I couldn't let myself break now. I will not let myself break now.

I finally opened my eyes, relaxed my fingers, took a deep breath, let it out and walked to my room. Thankfully I didn't bump into mum and dad. I put on some facial cream and powder on my face, then calling out to mum and dad that I was leaving, grabbed my keys and walked to the saloon.

After getting my hair done I got a call from mum asking me to get home quick. I huffed in annoyance but relented and made my way home. The moment I walked in, I was bombarded from left, right and centre. Next thing I knew, my hair was being fussed with, my body was being wrapped up in soft linen and my face was seeing the brands of a hundred different cosmetic products.

I plastered on a smile, laughed at the right moments and said the right things but deep down, I was drowning more and more in my fear. I lost count of the number of times I teared up but managed to hold it in and pass it off as a result of their pushing and prodding when they caught me.

               After what felt like hours later, my aunts and my mum finally stopped and stepped back to look at the result of their work. They marvelled and gushed. Few of them even tried to discreetly wipe off a few stray tears off their faces.

I smiled and comforted them as I resisted my own blinding urge to drop everything and run for my life as I bawled my eyes out.

The marvelling and gushing continued for a few more minutes until we heard a slight knock on the door.

"They just called and said they'll be here in five minutes. I suggest we get Cam downstairs now so she can offer them drinks later." dad said from the other side of the door.

And just like a switch, the fear that was crawling its way up my throat gripped me like a vice. I gritted my teeth and tried in vain to push it back down. A small whimper escaped me, but like always, no one heard me and like all those times my heart got broken, I found myself stuck in my very own personal hell.

"Okay, now Cam, get up slowly and we'll get you downstairs. Then, once they get here, you will have to serve them drinks. You know what to do right?" my aunt asked me with an excited grin.

My throat was all closed up so I just nodded with grimace-seeming smile. Shit, i'm slipping. No. Not yet. Its just a few more hours Cam. You can do it. Keep it together Cam. Not now. Not now.

I made my way down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. My face would be a real picture right now. I was so close to crying, I had to keep blinking to keep the tears at bay. My stomach churned. I hadn't eaten all day and added to my nerves, it didn't help my already emotionally frazzled case.

Just minutes later, the sound of muffled chatter and laughter from outside the house could be heard. My mum and my aunts immediately started getting on with the last touches. All the while my breathing became shallower to the point where I was trying to drag in as much air into my lungs as I could to calm myself.

One by one, my aunts left me with smiles on their faces as they went to greet the guests. My mum just stood there patiently though, as my aunts left. When the kitchen was finally clear, she turned to me with tears in her eyes.

A traitorous tear spilled onto my cheek. I did not dare say a word for I knew that would just trigger the impending floodgates. Instead I just looked at my mum and silently begged her with my eyes to not make me go through this.

She gently framed my cheeks with her palms, looked into my eyes, brushed off my tear gently with her thumb and whispered, "I know. I know, Camrylia. I know. But I promise you with all my heart that I would never give you anything to harm you. I am your mother and I know you are so broken inside and all you want to do is run out that door right now and never look back. But, just this once, just this once, please; let yourself love again. That is all I ask of you."

Another traitorous tear spilled onto my cheek and I squeezed my eyes shut as finally, I felt myself breaking. I prayed that I would get through the next few hours but somewhere within me, I knew I was kidding myself. I would be lucky if I got through it without fainting.

"Cam, bring out the drinks ma*." I picked up the tray on the kitchen counter with shaky hands. I was going to try being numb till they leave, then I'm going to lock myself up in my room and bawl my eyes out.

However, with every step I took, being numb was getting impossible. I was still shivering and still blinking to keep the tears at bay. When I finally reached the entry to the kitchen, separating it from the living room, I felt every eye in the room on me but I kept my eyes on the tray of drinks I was holding. I forced my feet to move as I walked to the first person seated on the comfortable beige couches. I looked up from the feet of my older sister to her face. Her face was practically glowing but when our eyes met, her smile dropped and her face fell.  She knew. She knew I was hanging by a thread. Fear for me shone clear as day in her eyes. I dropped my eyes back to the tray and walked to the next person. I saw a large, wrinkled hand reach out and take one of the glasses from the tray. Father-in-law.

"Thank you, ma." he said warmly. I nodded shakily and moved on to the next person. I saw the gold, embroidered edges of a purple saree. A small wrinkled hand reached out and took a glass from the tray.

"Thank you, ma." a kind female voice said. Mother-in-law. I nodded shakily again.

I felt tears stinging my eyes. Before I could blink them away, they were already flooding my eyes. I moved on to the next person. Blue jeans and a pair of large men's feet stared back at me.

 Him.

 *Pic on the right is the guy I have in mind as Camrylia's guy.*