Fixing You (Broken)

Chapter 2

Present : 2013

I kept my head down and never looked up. I couldn't. I felt empty and lost.

I carried the tray of drinks in my shaky hands and slowly made my way out of the kitchen, counting my steps to make sure I didn't collapse because I swear I was feeling light-headed.  

My eyes watered but I quickly blinked to keep it in. I stopped in front of the first person, my to be father-in-law. Oh God. Breathe, breathe..I took in a few deep breaths and offered him a drink.  

I could feel my father-in-law's eyes burning a hole in my face but I never looked at him. I continued to my mother-in-law. She waited a few seconds before taking a glass from the tray.  

I swear in those few seconds I was about ready to faint but she reached out for a drink before I could embarrass myself.  

I walked the short distance to the next person...him. My hands tightened around the tray, I knew they were going to bruise. I gritted my teeth and stopped in front of him.

It was getting harder to breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for him to grab his drink so that I could move on to the next person.  

I waited and waited and waited and with every second my eyes watered even more and I was having a hard time trying to keep the tears at bay.

My hands started shaking and I held on tighter to the tray to keep it from shaking. My breath started to come out in short pants and my head started to spin.

I felt my hold on the tray loosen and my tears slip out. I couldn't hold it anymore. I finally let go, giving into the darkness.  

When I felt warmth on my cheeks. My eyes immediately snapped open and I took in staggering breath. I looked up and met concerned light brown eyes staring down into my own. His face mere inches away from my own, his hands framing my face in a gentle but firm grasp that calmed my nerves. I suddenly felt so tired emotionally, mentally and physically, I burst out crying. Literally flat out sobbing in front of my supposedly future-in-laws and future husband.   I sobbed silently as my future husband held my face in his hands. My knees gave out and I was falling when I felt someone pull me up. My future husband. He crashed me to his chest and held me tight as I cried like a baby.   I held onto him like a life raft. My hands fisted in his t-shirt and my head nuzzled into his chest with his hand keeping it there. His other hand wrapped tight around my waist as he rested his chin on the crown of my head. 

I woke up with a start. I was sweating profusely and I was panting like I had just run a marathon. That dream had felt so real. His touch had felt so real. I felt so loved, so.....safe.

"Cam!"

I groaned silently. Can't I have a moment of peace after waking up? Is that too much to ask for, a moment to collect myself, prepare myself for the day emotionally and mentally? I sighed in irritation and pushed away the covers before getting up and walking to my dresser. I cringed at the state of my appearance. My hair was all tangled up, I might as well have said I'm trying to grow an afro, my eyes were all squinty and my face looked slightly swollen like it always does when I wake up in the morning. I rolled my eyes at my appearance as I grabbed a scrunchy and finger-combed my mess of a hair before tying it up. Yup. Much better. I changed into my short shorts and short-sleeved top before padding down the stairs.

"Cam? Aren't you supposed to be leaving for the saloon in ten minutes?" dad asked me from where he was seated at the couch watching a football match.

"Yea but I was so tired. Moreover I forgot to set my alarm. Anyway, i'm just gonna brush my teeth, wash my face and head there. Don't worry daddy, I'll be there on time." I said with a smile as I walked to the bathroom.

"Well, you better make it fast, or not mummy is going to scream your ears off." dad warned me playfully.

"Yes daddy," I sang as I shut the bathroom door.

The moment I slid the lock in place my nonchalance slipped and fear hit me like a tonne of bricks. My throat became tight and my eyes watered. I turned on the shower and moved to sit on the closed lid of the toilet bowl as I sobbed as silently as I could.

How was I going to go through with this?! I am freaking out. I want to bolt at the thought of what is going to happen tonight. I cried out to God as I sobbed, calling on Him over and over again but He never answered me.

I was going to have to face that dreaded proposal and I knew, the moment my parents had spoken to their parents that everything was about to change and I was going to have to face the worst of my fears and this time I had no control over it.