if you asked me to describe hell, it would be this. it would be me, laying in my bed (where he once laid with me 3 weeks earlier and told me this was forever), with mascara stained cheeks; trying so desperately to block out his memory. the memory of his hazel eyes that sparkled whenever he smiled and his curly hair piled on his head that always fell in his eyes. i was never a true believer of love until this, the feeling of not being able to be without him. every time i try and push away memories of him it always floods in with more. i just want to forget him.
although i love her, i knew it was best to let us go. she was pure, and i was toxic. i hurt her more times than i showed affection towards her. she deserves better. someone who isnt as fucked as i am. she started sacrificing things for me, started breaking her morals; thats when i just knew i had to let her go. she wasnt herself anymore, she was on the edge of void. things werent always perfect. behind smiles and sparkling eyes, was utter chaos. arguements left and right, some small, others big. all over petty things but all had a significant meaning. i know shes in pain, but i know this is the best for her.
