Forever Is Not Enough

A Lapse

1865 - Mystic Falls, Virginia

Panic flooded Damon's brain all at once. The agony in her eyes scared him, and he was even more pained to realize that it was he who caused it. How loud had she cried out? Could she have awakened her brother? He couldn't remember; it was all happening too fast. His mind jumped to the baby for a moment, but he couldn't hear the tiny heartbeat over Elena's loud one. The sound made it hard for him to hide his true face, but he didn't want to upset her anymore. She had already seen it once.

He drew in a deep breath, focusing himself. Gently, he lifted his leg back over her body so he wasn't sitting over her anymore. He wiped the tears from her cheek, trying to calm her as though she were a child. "I'm so sorry, my love."

Her eyes flickered to him for a moment and then closed again in pain. He knew what he had to do. In whiskey-soaked memories, he could see Katherine's bloody wrist dripping over his mouth, and in clearer ones he could see her digging her finger into his stomach and then feeding her blood to him. He could do the same, but he wasn't quite sure how. "I'm going to fix this, all right? Be still. It isn't good for you to move." She gasped in response.

He observed the skin of his wrist, drawing his teeth out. It should have been so simple, but it was so unfamiliar to him. He winced at the pain of his teeth sinking into his skin, but it was a minor irritation compared to what he was expecting. He hardly felt it at all, really. The little holes in his wrist were small, only yielding two little drops of blood. What if it isn't enough? He brought his arm up again, this time biting into it as if it were someone he intended to kill. The holes grew into a crescent shaped pool of blood, each of his teeth making a mark in his skin. Again, it hardly felt like a pinch. He held his wrist to her mouth.

"Drink," he ordered, and she did. Her body was stiff with her arms locked firmly at her side. After a minute or two, they relaxed and the pain left her eyes. Damon withdrew his arm, which was completely healed, he noticed.

He sat guiltily and quietly, waiting for her to speak. "I didn't know you were one of those," she said, her eyes still closed. "I thought Katherine was going to save you."

"She did." He took her hand in his. "See? I'm here."

She couldn't find the words to speak again. A moment ago, she had been so sure it was him, and now? She was never sure if she could trust Katherine, and now Damon was just like her. He'd almost crushed her, and without having her guard up, he could have killed her.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her so lightly she almost wasn't sure he was there, and then once again, this time with more fervor. "Please, Elena, I'm so sorry." Her eyes were full of distrust when they met his, but there was also tenderness there. Her expression put a sick feeling in his stomach. This isn't how it's supposed to be, he thought. He took a moment, weighing the consequences of what he was about to do, but he couldn't stand her looking at him like that for one more second. "Don't think of it anymore," he said slowly, although he wasn't sure if he was doing it right. Katherine said he could make anyone do anything if he only looked into their eyes and simply wished it. He wished for nothing more, and his eyebrows were stiff in the middle of his forehead as he focused on her irises. "It'll be as if this never happened. You know that I'm a vampire, but I would never hurt you. You don't have to be scared of me. Do you understand?"

She shut her eyes again, as though she were processing everything he said. When they opened, all of the tension in them had bled away. She wrapped her arms around his neck and the smile came back to her face.

"Why did you stop?" she sighed.

He paused, unsure whether the compulsion had worked. "What do you mean?"