Forever Is Not Enough

Wishes

1956 - Mystic Falls, Virginia

Damon,

I wish I had the words at my command to fully express the extent of my love for you. I do not think you will ever really know, so I can only say it plainly and be done.

Do you remember when we were young? I see my human life in my dreams, mostly. I see pictures of my family, of my home, of my life, and mostly of you; for you were all of those things. You would always ask me to run away with you. Do you remember? I wish I had said yes. I wish we had left Mystic Falls and never come back. I wish we were human, even if that means we would be dead. A life, a real life, with you is all I ever wanted.

We would have children. God knows I wish for that everyday. Our children would have children too, and then their children would have children. I can picture them all right now, fictitious as they are, running through the grass surrounding our little house. We would have been so happy. It is the most beautiful picture my mind can conjure, but it is too beautiful to be real.

And wishes cannot repair our ruins.

You sleep so easy at night, but my human life haunts my dreams. I can smell my father's fields in the morning. I can hear the sound of your laugh as we race through the tobacco. I can taste the bile in my throat when I knew you were dead. I can feel our child inside of me. I can see the blood rushing to stain the floor.

Those memories are hollow to me now. I never cried. I never mourned for my own child because of your compulsion. Like I was unable to be trusted with my own emotions. Or did you take my memories because you knew it was your fault? I wish I never knew what you did to me. I wish I died when I jumped off of that bridge.

I blame you for nothing and everything. Not until I was Reborn did I understand the power of your thirst. I suppose I can understand how tempting I was as a human, but I cannot pardon your betrayal. It burns me to know how badly you have hurt me, and how easily you sleep still. I suffer alone.

I do not know when you will ever get this letter. If you are reading it now, then we must be apart. Please know that I miss you, no matter my anger towards you. You will always be apart of me. You remind me that I was real, that I had a soul, and that I could love. To lose you forever would be to lose myself. I only need time for my wounds to heal. Maybe you do too.

We have forever to be apart, and we have forever to be together. When I first turned, I dreaded the thought of forever, but now that we have both wasted so much time hiding from one another, I think forever is not enough.

Look within yourself, my darling. Release your pain and I will release mine. Find peace and we might return to each other one day.

Please be careful, I love you, and until I see you again,

Elena

"Can you believe that, Stefan?"

The papers of Elena's letter shifted in the wind between Damon's fingers. He held onto them tightly, scared that one would fly away, and wrapped his fingers around the bottle of bourbon at his side. His eyes were closed, and amber liquid spilled across his white shirt before it reached his lips. He opened his eyes as he lowered the bottle, glowering at the canopy of the willow tree above him. To the east, the sun slowly rose above the fiery horizon.

He'd been to this place before, many decades ago. In the distance he could see the old Salvatore Estate, and even further away, the shambles of the Gilbert estate. His brother died not even 200 yards from where he sat, for the second time, at least. Damon and Elena had buried his gray remains beneath the very spot he sat, only marked by the hard, black dirt where nothing could grow. A sea of clovers and verbena grew like a halo around the spot, and Damon was careful not to touch the bright flowers. Elena had offered to bring a rock or some kind of marker to lay in the dirt, so Damon could come back, but he declined the offer. "Vampires do not belong in marked graves," he had said.