Hiding behind the lockers was always horrible, but it felt safer than anywhere else. But one time, someone was already there. You. Fallen all the way from the top by being accused of stealing, drinking and smoking while we were only 12, a mother who never wanted you. Knowing you made it easier to deal with my bullying because of how easy my life at home was, always had been. Never forced to grow up quick, look for a way out, never as much, as desperate as you. We offered each other help. You'd teach me what it was like to be popular (it made me glad i wasn't) and i'd be there for her, listen to her, help with what i could. We'd mock the bullies shouting the names they'd call us while they couldn't find us hidden under the tables behind the lockers, which was also a great location to sabotage the head bully's (for lack of a better word) locker with all kinds of icky stuff. But soon they found out, they discovered i'd found someone, and quickly she was offered the same. Her status for my well being. And you, the broken child that you were, had no problem in doing so. You were the worst of all. I'd ignore you, turn my head away, but you knew all the desperate little tricks to trying to bore a bully. You would grab my chin and turn my head to face me, any remark would be rewarded with a slap. One time our school had a trip to the lake and you threw my shoes in the water. You and your 'friends', my old friends, would take pictures of me, and i'd meet the flashes with my biggest smile. The teachers hated the fact that this happened, but the ones in charge didn't care enough to stop it. You'd get expelled, and they'd tell me they did it for me, but i knew like everyone else that it was for other things, not doing homework, not showing up for class, underage smoking and leaving school grounds. they'd always be the quiet days though.
If you'd read this, i'd want you to know that all i ever felt for you was sadness, i was convinced, and regardless of what others tell me i still am, that you regretted it. You regretted doing to me what you suffered before. But it was too late to turn back. I want you to know that every single time you came to me, every word did its job. I threw out my lunches, soon not bringing any at all, my grades dropped, as did my confidence, my self respect.
And yet i hope that by now, you got yours back on track.
So, how about you? Remember me?
