Snape's Diary

January 2nd

Dear Diary,

Today I got a letter from the Ministry of Magic

Professor Flitwick has filed a claim that I inappropriately touched his hair

Somehow that awful Skeeter woman got hold of this information

All over the Daily Prophet in no time

Every student will eventually find out

As I walked through the corridor on my way to the third floor I got stuck on a moving staircase with Longbottom and Finnegan

They told me that if I really wanted to touch thinning, greasy black hair I should just feel my own head

This made me sad

I gave them each a week of detention and 50 points from Gryffindor to make myself feel better

Lunch wasn’t nearly as comforting

Flitwick completely disowned me as an acquaintance and had obviously turned the

whole school against me

I decided that practicing the Death curse on a dwarf would be a paperwork burden even I didn’t need

I retreated to the Slytherin common room to scare some first years

Even the portrait hole painting had heard

He offered to go find Flitwick for me but I calmly ignored him

Suddenly my urge to perv on students got washed away and I retreated to the teacher’s dormitories to read The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord

As interesting as it was

The repetition of the Potters slowly angered me

I went to the bathroom and squashed a bar of soap

It didn’t act well as a stress toy

I got into my night robes and climbed into bed

I cried myself to sleep

I had a dream, a wonderful dream

Some how I got hold of the Elder wand and killed Flitwick

That really improved my spirits

Suddenly I woke up

I was all alone…

The teacher’s dorm was empty

I looked at the clock on the wall,

Doing what it does everyday

Ticking ticking ticking

I saw the time and realized I had missed breakfast

And lunch and all morning’s potion classes

I dashed at a snail’s pace to get dressed

When I finally got out the door, on my way to the dungeons

I ran into the dwarf, Flitwick if you must

He was outraged, he had had to “supervise” my classes since 9 o’clock this morning

Could this day get any worse?

Apparently it could

The class waiting not so patiently outside my classroom was none other than Slytherin and Gryffindor – Potter and Malfoy

It would be an endless hour of bickering between the houses

Of course I would let Slytherin win and give all Gryffindors detention

But until then…

The fire alarm sounded, everyone panicked

Except me, I slowly walked out the classroom

The squealing classroom got the idea and followed me

I led them out to the Entrance hall

Then out to the grassy area near the giant's hut

We waited and waited, for another class to join us

Precious minutes went by

Then Minerva came to tell us it was a prcatise and that the staff had been informed at breakfast

Then she slyly remembered I hadn't been at breakfast

I led the class back to classroom

They "giggled" at me!

Even my Slytherins

They should have known better than to insult their Head of House

Another painful day of sadness and depression has gone by,

I shall speak to you tomorrow my diary

Until then

Snape (xx)