Pure

Trust

The night was not too warm, but his body kept me pleasant. Our heartbeats completed each other.

My head voluntarily rested on his chest as his arm wrapped around my frame. My fingertips started drawing invisible lines on his chest. His fingertips explored the way from my fingers to elbow to shoulder so carefully, as if he pressed a little harder I would disappear.

"I still cannot believe you are really here," he pecked my hair. 

I lifted my head up and turned to face him. Smiling, I softly said: "I love you."

He brushed through my hair few times and almost demanded featherly: "Tell me you will not leave me."

I warmly caressed his cheek: "I am not leaving you. Not today.. Not ever.."  I inched myself closer to him and touched his lips with my own.

I returned back to my previous position and pulled the duvet up to my chin and buried my face into his side. He lightly chuckled at the sudden cold touch of my nose to his exposed skin. His hand brushed through my hair one last time and then lied still on my hip. Soon his breaths became even, whereas my mind still wandered as if it already had rested.

I saw where his need of support came from. People are temporary - they come and go. Sometimes we do not notice it, sometimes it hurts us deeply. He is afraid I'm gonna be one of those people. Simultaneously I was overcoming my own fear of him waking up one day and deciding that this is not what he wants. 

Trusting someone is really hard. It does not matter if you have a backstory to that or not. Sometimes it is our subconscious trying to save us from possible catastrophe. Soemtimes we notice it as life's way of telling us that this person standing in front of us is poisonous. But mostly it is our own fear eating us alive and ruining a chance of good future.