Once In A Lifetime You Were Mine

Sleepless night :'(

I felt my heart shattered,my breath at an impossible speed and my head began to edge towards the undeniable pain..when I saw the TV screen. "No" I said barely above an whisper as the glass holding in my hands slip off.. And falls into million pieces here and there.
I vaguely remember the shooting pain near my left leg,where I guess the glass piece might have logged itself and done some damage... But at this moment I could look at myself to look and care. All I could think above was that I was witnessing the pain again, all I could feel was the dark numbness that was slowly taking over my body and drowning me with it. I could get myself out of it but...I had to do it I had to do it for his Siddhartha's sake..
I know if God is with me.. And he left for a purpose.. Then he sitting up.. Will won't be cruel enough to snatch me from him. But still I felt myself shiver in fear as I grabbed my phone to call.. Him.. That please answer..
"Don't be dead.. Siddharth.. Please answer.. Please." I sobbed as I heard the ringing on the other end..and cutted..
The whole night went on making mental notes, thinking, dreaming just about him...
But nothing comes up... On a positive note...
Why the hell I called him up.. He's happy over there with his busy...might be having a gf.. Much better, good looking then me...!! why am I behaving like idiot and jealous.. His life is settled as he wanted ... Why am I..?
Can't do it!!
At least happy that once in a lifetime he was the one... Being with me, those joke's, laugh, giggle's and those moments...
After all I should be moving on... As once in a lifetime he was mine...