And Roses Wither [Oliver Sykes fanfiction]

Chapter Three

"It's like I'm sleepwalking."

        "No, you can't be Anna." Oliver laughed, it was a heart-aching laugh that I had yearned to listen to for oh so many years, and wished I could be the cause of it. I nodded frantically in protest, letting my desires win over humblicity. His teeth were whiter, and his hair was longer and curlier. When Oli and the band became more known, I refused to allow myself any pleasure of seeing them. That was, until today. Today I smile and act like I didn't miss him at all, screaming his name with utter profanities in my sleep. Wishing on stars and wells that maybe I can be brave enough for once but once isn't enough. 

        "Yeah, well. She changed a lot." Jasper sneered, muttering something in front of me. Oliver gestured for us to sit, and Jasper pulls out my chair for me. His hands slip across my own swiftly, and I try and try and try to ignore it because he's another problem and I can't have this many problems right now because problems are not good. Oliver examines my now blonde hair and paler skin, and bones. He notices the scars and his eyes turn down, looking at my legs through the glass of the table and seeing the yellow paste that's called my exterior flesh. He arches his brows at the blue contacts and red lips. "You really didn't want me to find you, did you?" He chuckles, and I manage to grin a bit. Not much, simply something I've done over and over and over again where I turn my lips up and one dimple shows and it's considered cute where in all reality I hate it so fucking much and I can do absolutely nothing about it because I am ugly and fat and worthless and boring and nothing and-

        "Anna." 

        "What?" I turn towards the voice with poison in my own, dripping and tempting all the same. Snow White's caramel apple bombs my brain and I'm wanting to reach for it but it's too far and I'm too weak and too frail to grasp it. Jasper is kicking my legs and I look up to Oliver and he has a concerned look on his face but I know it will change to a disappointed one and he will leave just like Jasper will and I will not be able to make him laugh or smile or melancholy and it's hurting my heart. 

        "Come here." His hazel-green eyes beckon me and I get up and walk to my old, old lover and I still feel a sudden spark and it's scaring me to no end because I do not want anymore problems. He tilts my head down when I get close enough to him and he looks at the birth mark that I hold so much hatred for and he blinks, and breathes and then bellows in a sort of laughter you hear from a drunken man, similar my father. He has tears in his eyes and I look at Jasper and he just shrugs nonchalantly and I wonder if I've fallen down the rabbit hole again. Jasper starts chuckling, too and I feel as though I am a rat and they are the scientists with needles and toxins and I think I would enjoy it but I'm not exactly sure if I actually would.

        "What is it?" I look at them confused and they both manage to stop and then they merely say;

        "The fact that you're still the old Anna." 

        I blink, and I breathe, and I bellow in laughter, too.