Fragmented Memories

chapter 1

Oh something I forgot to tell you guys before the image I'm using for my book cover, the art isn't mine. I did edit it a bit to add the colors and other effects to it. I'm not sure who the original artist is, but I love this picture, it is done so beautifully.

Chris lazily lounged on the couch, flipping through the channels in an attempt to find something halfway decent to watch. His mind kept wondering back to Josh, despite his best efforts to distract himself. Ever since they had come back from the mountain cabin a few months ago things had been tense to say the least. Josh took his sisters' disappearance pretty hard and had ended up shutting himself off from everyone, including Chris. It hurt Chris to see Josh in so much pain and unable to help him at all. Chris had just stepped back to give his best friend some time. Then one day Chris finally got a knock on his door.

Flashback

Josh didn't meet his eyes as he spoke softly, shifting from foot to foot nervously, "um hey...can I um come in?"

Chris opened the door all the way and stood aside as Josh slowly shuffled past him. Without a word Chris led Josh up to his room and closed the door. It was silent for a moment, Chris being patient and waiting for his friend to speak.

"Um I'm sorry... I kinda shut you out" Josh finally said.

"I know it was hard, especially for you" Chris spoke cautiously.

"I just... I feel like it was my fault for not being there when it happened" Josh replied.

"You couldn't have known something like that would have happened."

"I...I can't believe they would do that."

"Honestly I can. I mean you know people like Mike and Emily and Jessica don't exactly have the most sparkling personalities."

"Yeah I know, it just wasn't fair to Hannah, she didn't do anything wrong."

"I know" Chris said, coming forward just in time to catch Josh as his legs gave out.

Chris held Josh tightly in his arms as he felt tears soak into his shirt. It was heartbreaking to see his lover like this. As Josh cried Chris couldn't help thinking of something that had been eating at him ever since that god awful night.

That night he and Josh had snuck away from the group to make love for the first time. The whole thing had been perfect and incredible even with Chris being a huge nervous wreck. Afterwards they lay with each other for a bit before deciding to go back downstairs. And it all went down hill from there.

Chris always had some guilt since he was the one that insisted to Josh he was ready. It was all so wonderful and it was ruined because of their so-called friends deciding to pull a prank on the one girl that didn't deserve it.

"Chris?" Josh whispered finally after getting all his crying out.

"Yes?" Chris asked softly.

"C-can you kiss me?" Josh asked.

"Josh now probably isn't-"

"Please? I'm just asking for a kiss, please Cochise?" Josh begged, using Chris' pet name.

Chris could hardly refuse when Josh had those big puppy eyes and used his pet name. It was only a few seconds of delay before Chris gave in and leaned in to capture Josh's lips in a kiss. The other male eagerly responded, holding on to Chris as if his life depended on it. Finally after a few minutes Josh broke them apart and Chris was amazed to see just a hint of a smile playing on his lover's lips.

"Better?" Chris asked.

"Much, thank you" Josh replied, looking much calmer now, "you'll always be my anchor."

"I'll make sure you never loose your way" Chris agreed.

End Flashback

Chris was so lost in thought he hadn't even heard someone come in until his glasses were moved and eyes covered.

"Guess who" a familiar voice whispered in his ear.

"Hmmm... The Kool Aid Man" Chris said, unable to stop the smile on his face.

"OOOH YEAH!" Josh exclaimed, mimicking the deep character's voice.

Chris laughed as his eyes were uncovered and lips came to kiss his own. It was only a small peck that lasted for a moment, but it was still wonderful. Josh came and plopped down next to his boyfriend who eagerly snuggled up to him.

"So how did it go with the doctor?" Chris asked, grateful that Josh didn't stiffen from the question.

"Good, Dr. Hill is a little weird though. He keeps asking me strange questions" Josh replied.

"Did you tell him about the medication trouble?"

Josh had started having outbursts ever since the cabin. He would have moments where he would just speak nonsense and it would be hard to snap out of. The doctor Josh was seeing for therapy was attempting to find a good medicine to help him. The first one had given Josh a rash, which is what he told the doctor today.

"Yeah, he gave me the prescription for new ones, but the pharmacy won't have it in stock for a few days" Josh said nervously.

Chris thought for a moment before getting an idea, "why don't you stay here until you can get them?"

"What really?"

"Sure, I mean I know how to help you when you are having an episode. Plus we are on summer break now so I can take care of you all day if need be."

"That would be awesome, thanks man."

"That's what I'm here for. Me, your super awesome and supportive boyfriend"

Josh laughed, "you left out sexy"

The comment made Chris blush slightly, only making him look cuter. Josh pulled the blonde closer to him and snuggled into him. These next few days wouldn't be as bad with his boyfriend at his side keeping him grounded.