There I was, texting my best friend at midnight talking about life, like every other teenager. About how dreadful it was. About how we were attached to sad climber plant called 'society' giving it support and watering it with the poison of judgements and discrimination. About wanting to break free. About being independent and doing all the 'don'ts' in life. Relishing every moment in life and making memories. Her idea of 'being free' or of a 'perfect life' was just to let loose. And I agreed.
Then, there came this question that got me thinking very deeply. Something I've never really thought about and had no idea about.
"What is your perception or scenario of a perfect life?"
I wasn't able to answer properly that day. So after spending a long time thinking about it, this is where I give the answer to your question. Through this post right now. You know who you are. This is the answer.
You see, the mind is a very clever creature. So wicked that it could pull the trigger when you're the most vulnerable, killing you in an instant. So practical, that it's in a constant competition with the heart trying to make the final touchdown. And so evil that even when you think you're doing fine, it deceives you by creating these impossible, entirely fictional scenarios exceeding your expectations. And when you realize the reality, it already has the gun in its hand proclaiming its victory by bringing you down. So this is what this treacherous mind of mine cooked up and convinced my heart to want it too.
It was a cold winter night in the month of December. A perfect snow day which seemed to drape the entire neighborhood like a white blanket. Kids trying to grab snowflakes to hang them on their pretty christmas trees, trying to get a glimpse of its beautiful shape. And there I was, on a jeep packed with familiar people who mean the world to me going on a camping trip. The idea was to let loose for once and make memories good enough to reminisce in the future. Memories good enough to tell our kids about.
I wanted that too.
We were staying in a Cabin in the middle of the woods with the perfect view of the flora and no sight of the city and reality. Everything was perfect.
I was with my best friends and also with someone who meant the world to me. In this perfect daydream, he felt the same way but the words had not been said. He was trying to impress me by making me feel extremely special and spoiling me with his sweetness. I was happy.
We all did these crazy things that were too good to be true. We pulled several all-nighters and just sat there in our cabins having conversations about life. About not ever wanting to let any of us go and wanting to stay in that moment forever.
We lit bonfires, sat around it eating our roasted marshmallows and s'mores telling horror stories and singing our heart out with guitars in our hands.
Had random dance parties with dries leaves as confetti and we just let it all out as if no one was watching.
In cold nights, we would stay in. Sit in front of the fireplace, cuddled with our loved ones in the couches, trying to soak everything in.
We would talk about our childhood.
To top it all off and to give it a happy ending, I pictured myself laid on the grass watching the sky which was decorated with stars, trying to have a bit of alone time and trying to suppress the noise, completely dissolved in my thoughts. That was when he came and laid next to me. We talked about it being our last night in the cabin and about going back to reality. We talked about stuff that I would call 'deep'. We shared our thoughts and thats when he shared something. He said that no one understands him better than I did. No one had ever meant so much to him before. He talked about all the times he was jealous. About the time when he first looked at me. About how grateful he was to have me in his life. About how much he wanted us to be something more followed by the three words that just melted my heart. I leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around me and watched the stars and patiently waited for my reply. Thats when, I looked up, smiled and said yes.
" Some people want a big house, a fast car and lots of money.
And some people want a cabin in the woods away from those people. "
//a.v\\
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Poésie"Words are things and a small drop of ink, falling like a dew upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." "One pen. A piece of paper. A complicated mind. An entire universe." ...
