Naranasan mo na bang magmahal? Naranasan mo na bang magmahal sa taong unexpected na dumating sa buhay mo? Yong taong akala mo, magpapasaya sa buong buhay mo? Naranasan mo rin bang masaktan? Kahit sa maliliit na bagay?
Yong tipong papasayahin ka sa araw na down na down ka, but in the end, iiwan ka Lang din nya?
Have you ever experienced that moment? Any of those moment above?
Ako kasi, Oo. Sa taong unexpected na dumating sa buhay ko. It hurts because it seems my life isn't complete without him.
I didn't search for new because I believe he will come back and he will love me.
But, I expect for nothing.
Alam kong wala akong karapatang pumigil sa kanya na magmahal ng iba kasi WALANG KAMI. WALANG NAGING KAMI.
Ako lang kasi yong nageexpect nga kami. Sino ba kasing Hindi?
He cared for me. He always there for me. He made me smile. He made me happy.
I don't think na may mapapala ako sa kahihintay sa kanya.
"Hey, I have a good news." He said.
Yes! He's here.
"Really? Sounds Great. But, can you bring me outdoor? Bored ako dito eh." I smiled like there's no pain inside.
Kahit alam ko na sa successful na panliligaw nya ang ibabalita niya.
"Sure, come!" He easily grabbed me at pinapasok sa kotse niya.
I don't know but parang masaya ako kasi kasama ko sya but there's something I felt.. Pain.
While he's driving I put my headset and listen a music.
Minutes after, nandito na rin kami sa wakas.
Agar niyang kinuha yong tela na nasa backseat at yong mga kakainin namin.
Nilapag niya yong tela sa ibabaw ng kotse nya at umupo kami don.
Binalot kami ng katahimikan kaya binasag ko ito.
"So, what's the good news?" I asked na parang walang alam.
"We're finally AN OFFICIAL!" He said in an excitement tone.
I can't explain the pain I felt right now.
San ba toh nagsimula? How can I ease this pain that makes me suffer in silence?
"Then, that's great." I said with a flat and low tone.
"You sound pale. What happened?" He asked.
I can't force my tears to stop from falling.
"I. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPEN." I scream.
Shit! The pain.
"All this years minahal kita, pinapahalagahan kita. Pero sawa na ako sa pag pe-pretend na okay Lang. Na wala Lang. Okay lang na magmahal ka ng iba. Ryan, masakit. Masakit dito. *sabay turo sa puso ko* Pero tiniis ko, makita ka Lang masaya. But this time, Hindi ko na kaya. Ilalabas ko na lahat ng toh. Hindi ko Alam kung anong wala ako na meron kay Jessa. Cant you feel the pain I carried? Manhid ka. MANHID ka." I said while sobbing.
Why did he do this to me?
Pinapatay nya ako sa sakit.
Hindi ko namalayang, umiiyak na rin pala sya.
"Mahal kita noon pa, pero narealize kong hanggang magkaibigan Lang talaga tayo. Nothing else. Not more than friends Andrea. I'm sorry! I just love you as a friend. A friend." He said.
Diininan pa talaga nya yong pain.
I just nodded and left him.
Then our friendship is miserable. I hope we can still fix it like a toy.
And all this pain, kinaya ko. At kakayanin ko pa.
Balang araw, makakahanap din ako ng iba. Iba na magmamahal at mamahalin ko, na higit sa pagmamahal ko sayo.
---*
Author: Another one shot. Sobrang relate na relate ako dito. Hope you like it. Sinong sawi dyan? Let's be a team. Hahaha.
#ConfessionOfAndrea.
