Lex Aaron-Martin is my oldest brother, aged fifteen and three-quarters. Mom wanted to give him a Russian name because it reminded her of ballet. We do not call Lex "Sasha" for pretty obvious reasons, i.e., he won't let us. He was born a full seven times before my other brother, Seb, who was stuck.
9. Mom LOVES tell the Stuck Story, complete with unwanted details. The Stuck Story is why she went back to medical school and became a doctor who unstricks the struck babies of the world. As a result of having listened to tell her tale, I now hope to never have children, or maybe just adopt them from foreign countries like Australia or Brazil.
Do not start thinking about what this means if you do not want to throw up repeatedly into the back of your own mouth.
There is every little that is interesting to say about Lex, except that he good-looking according to all sources, if you consider Freddie Blue Anderson and the casting directors of last Christmas's Gap commercial to be "all sources." Like most teenage boys, Lex enjoys armpit farts and panting pointlessly after girls too pretty to care about him. He is on most sports teams and has an entire shrine of trophies devoted to his greatness. Needless to say, Lex goes to Prescott.
Lex is a big fan of everything in the world and is often shouting, "OH, MAN, THAT IS SO _________!" Or "Dude, that's seriously_________!" He doesn't feel it necessary to fill in the blanks. That is Lex. He has blanks and doesn't care. Actually, his blanks are kind of his defining characteristic.
If you ever tell him I said this, I will hire a hit man to rid the world of you and your big mouth, but Lex can be awesome. He takes care of Seb when Seb can't be taken care of. Not that Seb needs to be taken care of, it's just that Lex does it anyway. He may be dumb as a bucket of beach rocks, but he's got a heart of gold.
Lex often smells of something bad, such as Axe Body Spray or boy sweat. I cannot decide which is more disgusting.
What else about Lex?
Exactly nothing, that's what.
Sups sorry about not living up to my promise. Don't hate me. I try again but if it doesn't work out then I'll post whenever. Plus...OMG 50 reads!! That's insane for me thank you guys so much!!
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The Encyclopedia Of Me
Novela Juvenil{By Karen Rivers NOT ME} Buy this book its really good 5.99 US Aaron-Martin, Tink. That's me, aged almost thirteen, the star of this encyclopedia. I wrote it in my spare time during the weirdest, most wonderful summer of my life. I had a lot of spa...
