Settle For Less (A Before You Exit Fan Fiction)

Don't Settle For Less

Days have passed since I last saw Connor. I couldn’t stop thinking about him since he kissed me on the cheek. Every night before I sleep, the last thing that comes in my mind is—not Howard—but Connor. Whenever I leave the house, I secretly fantasized bumping into him. But there was nothing. It’s like he vanished in thin air. No text, no phone calls, no nothing.

            “I think you should wear this for tonight,” Chloe said.

            I shifted my gaze from the window to her. I hadn’t been really paying attention to her since she arrived. Earlier this morning, I had told her about Howard and how we were fixing things. I told her that we were having a date tonight since I thought it would be great for our relationship. However, I decided to leave Connor out of the conversation. Howard and I were never the same since the fight in Starbucks and it kills me to think that we would never be the same. No, this is just a phase, I thought. It will be over soon, you’ll be with him in the end. Deep down inside, I could feel myself lying. What if I don’t want to be with him in the end?

            “Zoe?” Chloe was snapping her fingers in front my face and I came to focus. “You’ve been staring into nothing for the past 2 minutes. I’m starting to worry.”

            “Uh—what?” I blinked in confusion.

            “You seemed distracted lately,” she said, her tone was concerned but her face was expressionless. Sometimes, I admire her for that trait. She can seem calm when she’s angry though she’s usually calm. It’s weird.

            “I’m fine,” I said immediately. “The dress is perfect.” She was holding black velvet, knee-high dress. It was perfect for a formal-casual date.

            “Well, duh, I’m the best,” she said, straight faced. I burst into laughter and she followed me. It was nice to just laugh for a second. All my worries and all that I’m thinking were now gone. It was like a rainbow after a storm.

            “Hey,” I said. “I’m sorry for ditching training. I didn’t mean to, I just forgot. I had a lot in mind you know.” I never really did apologize to her. This was the first conversation we had since I showed up late for practice. It’s unlikely for twins to fight. We never really do fight. We’re like a whole; one can’t be enough without the other half.

            “It’s fine,” she said coolly. “Anyway, I need to flee. Daniel’s waiting.”

            And by that, she tossed the dress on the bed and left my room. I was still sitting by the window, gazing toward the afternoon sky. The hot summer breeze swept my hair aside and I inhaled the fresh air. Far below, I could see Daniel leaning on his silver Bugatti with his arms crossed over his chest. He wore a white v-neck shirt with a dark PINLI pants and a heavily tinted aviator shades which hid his indigo, almost violet, eyes. Daniel is the only person I know who could pull out a look like that. From a far, he looked like someone who’s signaling he wasn’t interested in soliciting any kind of conversation you might be tempted to have with him since he’s your typical badass-goodass boyfriend.

            Chloe, wearing a black t-shirt under a black cardigan and a white high waist shorts with fall knee high boots, burst from the door and elegantly rushed toward Daniel. At the sight of Chloe, the hard lines on his face softened into a smile and he held her in his arms protectively. They stayed lost in each other’s eyes. It made me a bit jealous seeing them together. They reminded me of Jace and Clary from that book I just read. Now a love like that is unique, I thought.

            I decided to lie down for a while and let myself think. Connor’s name started loitering in my head. I dreamt about him yesterday. We were on the roof top, kissing under the light of the full moon. I could feel his soft lips crushing into mine. He gave me a thousand tiny soft kisses that made my whole body tingled. I could feel his heart beating against his chest. I opened my eyes and I caught myself trapped in his deep blue eyes. His hair seemed to glow gold like the stars above. He looked like an angel without wings.